Sunday, December 12, 2010


Today was a day of small steps and incremental progress. I am not sure if my "unsettled" state of practice is due to my concern over my sister's health and general situation, or my near miss of a hangover from a dance with my beloved Laphroig. Or maybe I am going into holiday denial that I am going to be out of my little cocoon and routine, and that I have to pack and fly and blah blah blah.

Whatever the cause, staying conscious and trying to make progress were difficult today. That said, steps were stepped and progress was made.

I am addicted, really, to stimulation. I don't like to do any housework in the kitchen, dining room, or the closet room because there is no music or tv or computer in that part of the house. I find myself drifting back to the old familiar keyboard to zone out.

But I managed today to compromise. I knew I wasn't going to just (finally) re-arrange my kitchen cupboards and really clean the kitchen and be a happy worker bee, contentedly tidying up my house. So, I watched some episodes of The Pillars of the Earth (historical, bodice-ripping stuff) and made myself taking cleaning breaks instead of the other way around. And the cupboards are almost all done. And the counter space is almost re-organized and clean. And the floor is half-mopped.

And now I need to sleep feeling good about the day, that the kitchen is neater and cleaner and that the rest of the job won't be as daunting. And that I found a way to motivate myself without doing psychic damage really. I am seducing myself into giving myself what I really want (more order.)

Small steps and incremental progress. Now, for some deep breathing.

1 comment:

  1. self seduction? I will have to try that. Congratulations on the progress.