Thursday, February 3, 2022

MANY LEMONS LATER

8 of 100




















30 January

"Yet it seemed indulgent to wake one who slept so peacefully. He wondered at the simple human trust in sleep: how easily it was betrayed. One was consigned there to a world which derided far more than the laws of time and space. Again and again one encountered morally dubious — tricksters and faithless lovers who rejoiced in the old anarchy of things. So often one fell asleep Hell and, waking, dared not sleep again."

"Louisa wondered how far this man was victim to his own career. What would he have been like, for instance, if he had been put to sea rather than the cloth. Switch his canonical black for a captain's blue and he might swagger to devastating effect. Either way, he was clearly not himself yet."

"If history shows anything it's that a great deal more than memory is required to avoid the recurrence of calamity. It requires — I think you will agree — some spark of insight into the darker operations of the human soul. And for that we shall need a more luminous exercise of the imagination than your naive materialism has on offer. Speak to me from your best self, dear heart. Recall your glassy essence."

— Lindsay Clarke, The Chymical Wedding, Jonathan Cape, Ltd., London, 1989

The cats! The cats! On the positive side, I woke up to a purring Nina tucked into my arm and nestled against my face purring her contentment this morning. Vera was comfortably stretched out on my side. This is an excellent way to doze your way into wakefulness [']]]]]]['p; (that was Nina on my keyboard) until you finally have to get up. Cat cuddling can set the mood for a decent day.

Not so much for me however.

I am in a bit of a meltdown over my brother's visit (welcomed) for my mother's birthday (95) and a bit of a needed get-away to Palm Springs (desperately). But this means that besides my usual trying to run around and keep things together I need to up the organization and stuff ante. 

Yesterday, Patrick and I moved a friend out of the mountains in Wrightwood down to the cool beach city of Ventura. The hardest part of the day was all the driving as D had her move entirely together so packing and unpacking was easy. We had a lovely Mexican dinner (California style) and a great drive back through the Santa Clara River Valley just at magic hour. The hills were all green from the January rain. The citrus trees were laden with fruit, just like my tangelo. The Meyer lemon has plenty of buds so there will be many lemons later.





I SHOULD DO THE SAME

17 of 100 May 24th It is hard to make plans to have fun when you would rather disappear into the earth. The depression continues, yet I am s...