Sunday, April 28, 2013

MAYBE SUNDAY WILL BE MY GRUMPDAY

Here's the desperate sleepiness hitting again at 8:48. Will I fall asleep and sleep through the night if I go upstairs and hit the bed now? I will miss all the Sunday night shows.

Oh, and here is Cooder looking for we-all-know-what.

This is Iris' kitty, MeeMee, getting ready for dinner, evidently.


Not really sure why, but I am quite cranky this evening. Maybe it is being a bit sleep deprived. I am already, only 15 minutes later, coming up and out of my peak sleepiness. 

I did some work on the kids research project today, and editing on Monsterwood. I was up early to this morning and started tonight's dinner. But then the weather was good so M and J decided that it was time to fire up the bbque.
A man at his grill (with steak).
Let the outdoor eating begin!








After dinner I finally went out to get some morning glory seeds planted in the new bed. One is supposed to soak them for 24-48 hours, and that time having passed, I thought I should get on it, though I was already ready for chilling out. Emmylou is severly vexed that she cannot join in in the outdoor festivities. I looked up from the flowerbed to see this in the dining room window.


Is that a sad sight? Emmy was particularly annoyed that Albert was allowed to hang out on the deck during dinner while she was constrained in the screened-in porch. Oh woe is she.

Hopefully, my grumpiness will have passed by tomorrow.

Friday, April 26, 2013

WINDOW OF FALLING ASLEEP






Welcome back, insomnia. Well, not really welcome. I missed that time window of falling asleep somehow and was up until about 3:30. Fortunately, I wasn't riding a cobra of a bummer so my thoughts weren't particularly dark, I just couldn't give it up to Morpheus. 

That made today start late and not be very productive. I started digging a bit more of the flower bed I am putting in little by litte, but soon realized I would be getting blisters if not splinters and I had better stop and buy some gardening gloves. (My crummy fingernails don't need to be battered.) I spent too much money on plants, dirt, and gloves. Perhaps I have already said this, but I haven't ever had this much potential gardening space and haven't really been able to do any gardening since I lived on Gower Street in Beachwood Canyon from 1989 until 1993. Brad had put in quite a cactus garden. My apartment was the basement of an old house. I would open the front door in the morning and it would be open all day. It was kind of like an outdoor living room.

J found a great collection of blues, played by all the greats in Europe in the 1960s. Beautiful recording. I can hear him playing them in the other room. It's already after 11:00 and I have to take some sleeping  medication (which is finally how I feel asleep last night.) My circadians were discombobulated to the extent that I really couldn't even take a good nap today. I did get a bit of afternoon shut-eye and then arose to make a frittata for dinner that was quite good.

Enough banality. 

Okay, we are getting to the end of The Left Hand of Darkness quotes:

"How does one hate a country, or love one? ... I lack the trick of it. I know people, I know towns, farms, hills, and rivers and rocks, I know how the sun at sunset in autumn flas on the side of a certain plowland in the hills; but what is the sense of giving a boundary to all of that, of giving it a name and ceasing to love where the name ceases to apply? What is love of one's country; is it hate of one's uncountry? Then it's not a good thing. It is simply self-love? That's a good thing, but one mustn't make a virture of it, or a profession . . . Insofar as I love life, I love the hills of the Domain ... but that sort of love does not have a boundary-line of hate. And beyond that, I am ignorant, I hope.

Ignorant in the Handdara sense: to ignore the abstract, to hold fast to the thing. There was in this attitude something feminine, a refusal of the abstract, the ideal, a submissiveness to the given ..."

and

"And I wondered, not for the first time, what patriotism is, what the love of country truly consists of, how that yearning loyalty that had shaken my friend's voice arises: and how so real a love can become, too often, so foolish and vile a bigotry. Where does it go wrong?"

Hard to see, but here are the horses that live behind the house.

And here is Emmylou sitting in the sun.






Thursday, April 25, 2013

A FRAIL BEAM

Magnolia bloom down the street.
Let  me remind you, eating too many cheetos or too much chocolate can make you feel crummy. Listen and learn. M brought me back some dark chocolate with sea salt from Vermont and boy is it yummy. It is good I don't have a bottle of zinfandel to hand as I am fairly certain that would be an excellent match.

More gardening today. I found some rocks to line the part of the new bed I had dug out. I planted sweet peas as there is trellis for them to grow against, some Mexican day lilies, some zinnias because we want them everywhere, and what else? Marigolds. I also started a couple of flats of marigolds and four o'clocks and columbine and snap dragons. The spraxis shoots are growing right along and we will have some snap dragons blooming soon from the plants I bought at Salinger's. There's a lot of gardening opportunity here but there is a lot of prep, too. I am only doing a little space at a time lest I run out of steam.

M and J have gone to bed so it is quite tempting to go into the family room and binge on some television although it is getting late. I am making progress with both of my Kermit Place Readers books.

I spoke to my friend L who has the movie theater in Schroon Lake and made plans to visit for Memorial Day. This summer is the last wherein regular films will be distributed. It will all be digital distribution and projection as of this fall. And it costs $70,000 for a new system which is quite a bit of money for what is essentially a Mom-and-Pop seasonal venture. L doesn't know what will happen, so I need to try to get up there as often as possible this summer.

But I need to visit my Ma, too. I talk to her all the time, but I haven't seen her in 18 months. And so it goes. 

It is now officially late and I have neither read nor watched any of my stories. But I did get caught up with me Maw a bit. 

I'll give us a break from The Left Hand of Darkness and head back to Night and Day

"The only truth which she could discover was the truth of what she herself felt—a frail beam when compared with the broad illumination shed by the eyes of all the people who are in agreement to see together; but having rejected the visionary voices, she had no choice but to make this her guide through the dark masses which confronted her. ... To seek a true feeling among the chaos of unfeelings or half-feelings of life, to recognize it when found, and to accept the consequences of the discovery, draws lines upon the smoothest brow, while it quickens the light of the eyes; it is a pursuit which is alternately bewildering, debasing, and exalting ... Much depended, as usual, upon the interpretation of the word love; which word came up again and again ... and in each case it seemed to stand for something unmistakable and something not to be passed by. ... the confusion of lives which, instead of running parallel, had suddenly intersected each other, ... she seemed to convince herself that there was no other light on them than was shed by this strange illumination, and no other path save the one upon which it threw its beams...."


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

NO SAFE ONE

Your The Left Hand of Darkness quote of the day:

"He makes fear serve him. I would have let fear lead me around by the long way.  Courage and reason are with him. What good seeking the safe course, on a journey such as this? There are senseless courses, which I shall not take; but there is no safe one."

In the interest of writing earlier, I am starting this post at 12:34.

Until today, I had never really understood the need for a garden diary. I'm not doing anything particularly major here, but I just planted some more pea seeds, some marigolds and zinnias (as they are M's favorite, I am putting them in with everything). The peas aren't supposed to get shoots for 14 days or more and if I don't note it down, I will be standing there watching expectantly. So far, I have
also transplanted the snap dragons to appropriate containers and placed them on the front entrance where they will get lots of morning light and also be good to look at when we are all drowsily looking at the kitchen window as we draw water for our coffee.

In other experiments, and maybe I said this yesterday, both M and I are taking local honey daily to see if that helps in the allergy department.'

Among other things scored at the library yesterday was the new Michael Pollan book, Cooked: A Natural History of Transformation. I haven't read any of his books but this one particularly interested me as my chef friend, SMS, often schools me in the differences in preparation. As I was wolfing down a lunch snack of fresh mozzarell and Cheetos (again with the Cheetos! We had a stressful day yesterday and I bought some for M, unbeknowst that she had picked up some healthier "cheetos" at Trader Joe's. Great minds think alike.)

"Survey research confirms we're cooking less and buying more prepared meals every year. The amount of time spent preparing meals in  American households has fallen by half since the mid-sixties, ... to a scant twenty-seven minutes a day."

10:04PM

Good thing I started this earlier as I am now too sleepy to write much. What will probably happen is that I will go up to bed only to not be able to sleep as usually seems to happen. I think I might go for some sleeping medication tonight as I would like to get up earlier.

I think I am fresh out of photos at the moment. I did walk Albert this afternoon but as I was groggy and cranky from a nap, I neglected to bring my visual reproduction device with me. Tomorrow.

It was a beautiful day and I did get a little area dug out where I can plant sweetpeas and they will have a place to lean. If the weather holds, I will be back at it tomorrow. I did have a nice lie down on the couch that is currently on the screened-in porch, although I couldn't really sleep there. Emmy came and curled up in the crook of my legs for a bit, although she was more interested in cleaning herself than cuddling or napping with me.

M also brought home the new Steve Earle cd and a Nigerian musican I had never heard of, Bombino. He is utterly rockin'.





Tuesday, April 23, 2013

THE POWER AND THE CHANCE


"Maybe they are more aware of the gap between men and beasts, being more occupied with the likenesses, the links, the whole of which living things are a part."
Ursula K. LeGuin, The Left Hand of Darkness


The morning tends to be a more thoughtful, contemplative time for me. As you have heard from this quarter on other occasions, I had more interesting ideas about possible musing topics fresh from dreamland as I woke up. Now those pensées are long gone.

Although the buds continue to bud apace, it was cold-ish, or I could just come out and say chilly, and damp today, although I don't believe it actually rained. I was supposed to go to the city to see my friend Susan Siegal's opening. Check out her site. And here a couple of examples I copied from her site:
All rights and permissions for this image held by Susan Siegal.


All rights and permissions for this image held by Susan Siegal.

I think they are fabulous and I was pleased to have been on the opening invitation list. But it is certainly difficult for me to rouse myself out of Brewster. One would have thought the better weather would lighten my travelling spirits. But not yet.

Still working on the kids' media research project, but that is almost done. Had a good chat with JR and Louise about Monsterwood. Louise knocked out a great draft and we are getting some interest in it. That's a long way from getting any money, but real interest is something. And we have a short term game plan to try to move forward.

I really need to get out a bit more, so my newest (!!) resolution is to leave the property every day. I returned some books to the library (finally returned The Left Hand of Darkness), bought more tortillas and Mexican cheese at the Latino grocery on Main Street, and then I went for a bit of a drive. That was kind of cool. I wanted to listen to more of Storm of Swords (it is 39 discs and I am only on 11). I stumbled upon the famous local orchard, Salinger's. I had been trying to figure out where it is from here. Bought a damn apple cider doughnut! I am human, after all. And some local honey which M and I are trying as allergy combatant. And some snapdragons all ready to plant.

Not sure what the weather will be tomorrow, but I hope it is warm and dry enough for a bit of gardening. I have lots of seeds to get into the ground. 

I have been going to bed late and consequently getting up a bit later than I would like so I will to bed soon and perhaps make more significant progress in Summer Will Show.

I had a dream last night about my old friend and running buddy, Bruce, who died of AIDS in 1997. Back in the day, we were Deadheads. His old VW was called The Brokendown Phallus (a pun on Brokedown Palace) while mine was commonly referred to as The Ship (Ship of Fools). I really hadn't even thought of Bruce in a very long time. When he finally came out, he spent a bit of time being misogynistic, possibly a bit of backlash for having had to play it straight, but, while I could understand it, it still hurt my feelings and we drifted apart. We did reconcile before his death. And I well remember when I found out he was HIV positive. I had nightmares for days and days and days. 

I cannot imagine what triggered thoughts of him, unless it was a short email repartee I had with another friend from that era, EJH, who, besides having recently welcomed his first granddaughter, informed me that he is retiring in a week at age 60, a multi-millionaire. While I am happy for EJH who remains an affectionate friend notwithstanding decades of non-communication, I could not help but ponder my own state of being, which is much closer to trying to jumpstart a career. EJH and I were involved for a time in our youths, so there is always the "what if" ...

"A profound love between two people involves, after all, the power and the chance of doing profound hurt."
Ursula K. LeGuin, The Left Hand of Darkness


The forsythia, too, shall pass.




Monday, April 22, 2013

WE LEFT IT AT THAT


The stench of last week's SPAM is still clinging to my three-ply.
Sister Monica Joan, Call the Midwife

I like that show, although I don't exactly know why. Nostalgia? Although I did not live in 1950s England. Strong(ish) female characters? That could be a reason.

Gosh, I am so far out the writing habit! I really do need to reprioritize this. 


Then again, life has been both troubling 
and challenging. A lot of it is too personal for web distribution, even if it is not actually about me. Other aspects of my own turmoil (they might be mere challenges) are still in process and under scrutiny.

I haven't taken Cooder to the vet yet as she may well have gained back the weight I thought she lost. I don't think she liked the food I was giving her, which might be why she was so insistent on the Greenies. She still wants them several times a day, but she is much calmer. I have also seen her eating from the regular food bowl more often. I think she is glad Spring is here as I have seen her do the crazy-assed kitten run through the house more than once. She still chases a laser-light. And she is hanging around downstairs more.

On the Spring front, on Saturday morning there were suddenly green buds in the backyard trees. This is still a startling sight to me. I now have ten shoots from my bulbs, although I did plant many more. I have more gardening to do. Perhaps I will be able to attend to that tomorrow. The bean shoots are growing along, too. 


I feel unsettled, my mind unsettled and a bit unfocussed. Perhaps that is due to overexposure to watching preschool programming for my research project. I am not particularly capable of concentrating on the other things I need to read, such as Summer Will Show, which is the next book group book, or even to finish Night and Day! Or perhaps this is a backlash from the rigorous reading schedule from the Fantasy/Sci Lit class.


As it is 11:00 pm, I do believe I should finish straightening up the kitchen and take myself to bed. 




Forsythia abounds.

Another quote from The Left Hand of Darkness. (Settle in folks, there are more where this came from.)

"For it seemed to me, and I think to him, that it was from the sexual tension between us, admitted now and understood, but not assuaged, that the great and sudden assurance of frienship between us rose: a friendship so needed by us both in our exile, and already so well proved in the days and nights of our bitter journey, that it might as well be called, now as later, love. But it was from the difference between us, not from the affinities and likenesses, but from the difference, that love came: and it was itself the bridge, the only bridge, across what divided us. For us to meet sexually would be for us to meet once more as aliens. We had touched, in the only way we could touch. We left it at that. I do not know if we were right."







Thursday, April 18, 2013

END UP WITH THAT SMALL CHANGE

These flowers were at Jet Blue the day we flew to Chicago.
This will have to be a short one, as I am inexplicably sleepy (I almost wrote "inexplicably early") at an early hour, it being only 9:19 and I have been in this state for a good hour or so.

Worked. Walked the dog. Yakked some. Ate pizza with M. Did laundry. Cooder is ensconced on the newly fluffed pillows as she likes. We all like.

It was a grey day, so no photos or anything. I ate Cheetos again, but, thankfully, they are now safely gone. I didn't really eat that well today, and must be mindful. Although I am not much mindful of anything right now.

I watched Doc McStuffins and Team Umizoomi as part of my research. I will be watching a lot more tomorrow.

Boring enough?

Continuing the quote-a-thon from The Left Hand of Darkness:

"To learn which questions are answerable, and not to answer them: this skill is most needful in times of stress and darkness."

 "We did not struggle for the warm place, we were simply in it each night. It is a terrible thing, this kindness that human beings do not lose. Terrible, because when we are finally naked in the dark and cold, it is all we have. We who are so rich, so full of strength, we end up with that small change. We have nothing else to give."

"... yet it may be strange that among twenty-five not one ever spoke to all the others together, not even to curse them. Kindness there was and endurance, but in slience, always in silence. Jammed together in the sour darkness of our shared mortality, we bumped one another, breathed our breaths mingling, laid the heat of our bodies together as a fire is laid—but remained strangers. I never learned the name of any of them ..."


Wixlii I"Willie).


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

THEN YOU WALK A DIFFERENT ROAD

I laughed until I was high watching Veep tonight. I thought I would be able to go back to work, but it took me a long time to come down. I told M that we would need to get an oxygen tank for me as I laughed so hard I eschewed breathing. I am not as productive as I would like to be, perhaps because I am still decompressing from the stresses of the last few weeks. My spirits are in the generally okay area. But I still don't feel very smart or connected.

One of my nearanddears started an intensive therapy program today, so I suppose that is a step in the right direction and we all wish that person goddess-speed, right? There was progress on another nearsanddears front, but I have yet to hear the details.

I guess a bit of my bummed-outness comes from worry about Cooder. I think she is losing weight and she was only at 8.5 pounds to start with. As evinced by The Eternal Search for Greenies, she still wants to eat, sharing my morning vanilla non-fat Greek yogurt, my daily fleur-de-sel caramel, and any sliced turkey I might consume. I guess the real question is do I take what is left of my dwindling sheckels and make another trip to the vet. I'll have to continue to sleep on that.

These are spraxis.
I also had a terrific conversation with another J, about the nature of love, romanticism, immaturity, perception, and all other manner of interesting and relevant stuff. This is kind of tease, I suppose. If I were a better writer/correspondent/thoughtful friend, I would share some insight instead of merely reporting that such a conversation was had.

I did get the Frontline on the cats, hopefully nipping the flea issue in the bud, appropriately enough for springtime! We now have three bulb shoots, spraxis I think. No sign of the freesia or ranunculas. Patience, I know. I haven't ever planted bulbs before, so I am excited about it.

Albert and I had some nice walks today. The weather is absolutely edible, a creme brulee of pleasantness. There are other flowers out to photograph, but I have been talking on the cell 'phone as I walk, so I can't take pictures, too. I hope to have lilac shots 'ere long. I have never lived anywhere with a lilac bush RIGHT HERE! I did cut some forsythia and daffodils for the house. There are now splashes of yellow in the downstairs bathroom, on the family room mantel, and the kitchen and dining room tables.

I've been leaving the screened-in porch door open so that the kittehs can get something like simulated outside. Albert goes out there and barks at whatever activity might be in the street (not a whole lot).


I did get some good news from a nearanddear of longstanding who had a cancer scare only to find that it was only a scare! That was another relief.

More from The Left Hand of Darkness.

"The unexpected is what makes life possible."
 -----------

"It is not altogether a bad thing to have criminal ancestors. An arsonist grandfather may bequeath one a nose for smelling smoke."
 ------------

"There were vivid personalities amount them ... — and yet each of them lacked some quality, some dimension of being; and they failed to convince. They were not quite solid.

It was, I thought, as if they did not cast shadows.

This kind of rather highflown speculation is an essential part of my job. Without some capacity for it  I could not have qualifed as a Mobile, and I received formal training in it on Hain, where they dignify it with the title of Farfetching. What one is after when farfetching might be described as the inituitive perception of a moral entirety' and thus it tends to find expression not in rational symbols, but in metaphor. I was never an outstanding farfetcher, and this night I distrusted my own intuitions, being very tired. When I was back in my apartment I took refuge in a hot shower. But even there I felt a vague unease, as if the hot water weas not altogether real and reliable, could not be counted on."

------------

"To oppose something is to maintain it.

They say here "all roads lead to Mishnory." To be sure, if you turn your back on Mishnory and walk away from it, you are still on the Mishnory road. To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road."



Tuesday, April 16, 2013

PROGRESS IS LESS IMPORTANT THAN PRESENCE

Well now. Let us see if we (that would be me) can get back to some writing.

For the first time in a long time, I relaxed this evening. I mean flat out sat around and watched some TV and fooled around with wool. I wondered why I had not done this in such a long time, but then I remembered that between the lit class and the project I am (still) working on, there really wasn't the leisure to get caught up with The Americans. "Yay!" she said.

Come to think of it, I have not really finished with the course, as I didn't listen to all the lectures yet and I also have to write a scathing review of the class and the asshat professor. Hopefully, I will have a little bit of time to get those things accomplished. And I didn't finish the philosophy course, although I liked it quite a bit. And I signed up for a programming course that I probably won't do, but I wanted to check out. But gosh! Maybe I can read for something like pleasure!

The problems and issues that have been facing my nearsanddears are ongoing, but the drama has died down for the moment. No resolution, but maybe just the eye of the storm passing over.

The forsythia is blooming. J and I looked out the kitchen window the other morning to see a cardinal perched on the forsythia and 'twas a splendid sight. I also saw a baby cardinal fly across the backyard.

I have been anxiously watching my pots and am pleased to announce that today I saw the first shoots from the bulbs! Also, two shoots from the beans (peas?) I planted stuck up their heads today. The other seeds, mostly nasturtiums have been popping up. I have more bulbs and seeds to plant, but the next big housekeeping job is to run over to the vet and get more flea meds for the kittehs so we don't go through that level of hell again.

And for whatever blindness Cooder has, she can still see motion. She and Emmylou were all focussed on a moth outside the window this evening. And she can still chase a laser light.

I used a plethora of Book Darts whilst reading The Left Hand of Darkness and before I return it, I shall share some of the pithyness with you.

" ... poor relations must be in good time ..."

"No, I don't mean love, when I say patriotism. I mean fear. The fear of the other. And its expressions are political, not poetical: hate, rivalry, aggression. It grows in us, that fear."

"... when action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep..."

"Terrans tend to feel they've got to get ahead, make progress. The people of Winter, who always live in the Year One, feel that progress is less important than presence."

"... there are things that outweigh comfort, unless one is an old woman or a cat."





Thursday, April 11, 2013

'COZ EVERY GIRL'S CRAZY 'BOUT A SHARP-DRESSED MAN

Kit at dinner.





Yes, I know I am writing sporadically. But the danged literature class is over and I can go back to reading better stuff. And complaining less and maybe writing more.

I am not going to write much as I am still absorbing all that transpired this week. It was tough on a number of fronts for a couple of people who are near and dear to me. And challenging for me, too.

Kit came to town for a hair class and staid an extra night so I headed down to the city. We had so much fun. We went to a cool restaurant called Lucien. We had great food (beautiful tuna tartare, spring greens with blanced asparagus, grilled octopus with rosemary potatoes, scallops with mashed potatoes, AND a white bordeaux, armangac, and Calvados!) And creme brulee (my favorite) with a single candle.

S recommended the place and stoppped by.
It was great catching up with Kit and kicking back some. And now to bed again.



Billy fuckin' Gibbons from ZZTop, y'all.




Monday, April 8, 2013

SPRING IS AROUND

I really can't write much. I'm on a project deadline and trying to stay focussed and not procrastinate. So I am not really thinking about much of anything else other than this report. Except the crappy book, Little Brother, I spent time reading for the Coursera class. More on this anon. My last essay will be in the form of a screed.

Spring is around. Word has it that it will be in the 70s this week. I saw the first shoot of the seeds and bulbs I planted a week or so ago. A watched pot never grows.

So this is just a check in. Albert and I did our walk today although, again, I didn't stay out too long.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP YEAH.

So, here I am in Chicago, Oak Park really, and yet there are pictures of Cooder. She's not with me, but I uploaded these before I left.

It has been an interesting and intense few days. The intensity will not end as I am charged to write a report on the research we just did. That will be challenging, but in a good way. After all, I have been lifting some writing muscle weights between this blog and my class, so hopefully my ability to focus and communicate clearly has improved.

Oak Park is kind of nice. Frank Lloyd Wright worked here for the first twenty years of his career. Ernest Hemingway grew up here, although I don't particularly think that is a recommendation. We didn't have enough time to do much of anything except work, eat, and sleep, so no pictures. If we had more time, we would have gone to the Frank Lloyd Wright Museum. I was wearing what pass for heels last night, stepped up onto a curb, and somehow distressed my knee so that walking is difficult ... eh.... more of a challenge really. Not searing pain, but not comfortable. So, that ruled out any walking tours of the 'hood.

And only one week left of the literature class. Again, under pressure to read a rather long book,while trying to write in a professional style somewhat new for me. Oh joy.

Back to NY/Brewster tomorrow. Looking forward to the kittens and Albert and M and J. I planted some bulbs over the weekend, but it is too early for them. I did take the precaution of moving them to the covered porch in the event of a frost. Things stay somewhat warmer, mostly above freezing there.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Yeah.

Bad and proud of it.

Liking the sun. Yeah!


Monday, April 1, 2013

NOT KNOWING WHAT COMES NEXT

I had to walk Albert early today as the house peeps are gone for Easter and I am leaving for ChiTown shortly. I saw a black cat sitting next to a reflection pool just down the street. Just not something you see every day ... or maybe ever? I've never seen it. Couldn't get a photo as, in my mind, I was just doing a quick Albert pee walk and to get the newspaper so I didn't take my trusty image making device. Albert was more interested in a more substantial walk, so there I was trudging down the street in my crummy clogs, sheer nightgown, and down jacket. How very suburban, right? (Instead of perp walks, Albert has poop walks. And he seems to prefer the neighbor's lawns instead of the woods.)

Did manage to get the Ursula K. LeGuin read in good time, but did not get my essay written. Hopefully, I'll be able to chug some out on the plane. The Left Hand of Darkness was head and shoulders above the others in writing and conception, even Ray Bradbury. I thought I had read this one, but I think I read The Lathe of Heaven when I was in high school. I do remember Kim, who had left the stupid high school (is that oxymoronic?) we attended to go to the much saner continuation high school (where I saw someone give someone a hand job in class, more discreetly than you might imagine) talk about The Left Hand of Darkness and that must have been how I was confused. And that was a Proustian sentence.

A sample:

"There's really only one question that can be answered ... and we already know the answer . . . . The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next." 

Okay, maybe I will make that my paper topic. I will be writing on the airplane. And as for now, I am running late. Quelle surprise.






I SHOULD DO THE SAME

17 of 100 May 24th It is hard to make plans to have fun when you would rather disappear into the earth. The depression continues, yet I am s...