Wednesday, April 17, 2013


I laughed until I was high watching Veep tonight. I thought I would be able to go back to work, but it took me a long time to come down. I told M that we would need to get an oxygen tank for me as I laughed so hard I eschewed breathing. I am not as productive as I would like to be, perhaps because I am still decompressing from the stresses of the last few weeks. My spirits are in the generally okay area. But I still don't feel very smart or connected.

One of my nearanddears started an intensive therapy program today, so I suppose that is a step in the right direction and we all wish that person goddess-speed, right? There was progress on another nearsanddears front, but I have yet to hear the details.

I guess a bit of my bummed-outness comes from worry about Cooder. I think she is losing weight and she was only at 8.5 pounds to start with. As evinced by The Eternal Search for Greenies, she still wants to eat, sharing my morning vanilla non-fat Greek yogurt, my daily fleur-de-sel caramel, and any sliced turkey I might consume. I guess the real question is do I take what is left of my dwindling sheckels and make another trip to the vet. I'll have to continue to sleep on that.

These are spraxis.
I also had a terrific conversation with another J, about the nature of love, romanticism, immaturity, perception, and all other manner of interesting and relevant stuff. This is kind of tease, I suppose. If I were a better writer/correspondent/thoughtful friend, I would share some insight instead of merely reporting that such a conversation was had.

I did get the Frontline on the cats, hopefully nipping the flea issue in the bud, appropriately enough for springtime! We now have three bulb shoots, spraxis I think. No sign of the freesia or ranunculas. Patience, I know. I haven't ever planted bulbs before, so I am excited about it.

Albert and I had some nice walks today. The weather is absolutely edible, a creme brulee of pleasantness. There are other flowers out to photograph, but I have been talking on the cell 'phone as I walk, so I can't take pictures, too. I hope to have lilac shots 'ere long. I have never lived anywhere with a lilac bush RIGHT HERE! I did cut some forsythia and daffodils for the house. There are now splashes of yellow in the downstairs bathroom, on the family room mantel, and the kitchen and dining room tables.

I've been leaving the screened-in porch door open so that the kittehs can get something like simulated outside. Albert goes out there and barks at whatever activity might be in the street (not a whole lot).

I did get some good news from a nearanddear of longstanding who had a cancer scare only to find that it was only a scare! That was another relief.

More from The Left Hand of Darkness.

"The unexpected is what makes life possible."

"It is not altogether a bad thing to have criminal ancestors. An arsonist grandfather may bequeath one a nose for smelling smoke."

"There were vivid personalities amount them ... — and yet each of them lacked some quality, some dimension of being; and they failed to convince. They were not quite solid.

It was, I thought, as if they did not cast shadows.

This kind of rather highflown speculation is an essential part of my job. Without some capacity for it  I could not have qualifed as a Mobile, and I received formal training in it on Hain, where they dignify it with the title of Farfetching. What one is after when farfetching might be described as the inituitive perception of a moral entirety' and thus it tends to find expression not in rational symbols, but in metaphor. I was never an outstanding farfetcher, and this night I distrusted my own intuitions, being very tired. When I was back in my apartment I took refuge in a hot shower. But even there I felt a vague unease, as if the hot water weas not altogether real and reliable, could not be counted on."


"To oppose something is to maintain it.

They say here "all roads lead to Mishnory." To be sure, if you turn your back on Mishnory and walk away from it, you are still on the Mishnory road. To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road."

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