Tuesday, May 31, 2011

MOSQUITOS AND MORE

The Red Top Bar in Dresden, NY. Bikers welcome.
Mosquito bites continue to disturb. Does anyone know why they itch more at sometimes than others? The morning is always the worst for me, and neither benadryl nor Tiger Balm (turns out to be good for bug bites) really helps entirely. Mosquito bite-wise, I am not off to a good start for the summer.

I also find it disturbing that "mosquito" is such a nice, sweet word, nearly diminiutive and affectionate. And the critters are vile!!

I am a veritable mosquito magnet, although I had some serious competition from Bryan. When I woke up and staggered into the kitchen yesterday, he was sitting at the kitchen table like Renfield in Dracula, obsessively killing mosquitos and talking to them all the while.

From talking to friends I found that the rest of the East Coast had splendid weather. We had rain and floods as previously documented. And here in NY, we have segued (here's a link in the event you ever wondered where that word came from) to the muggy to afternoon rain weather. Perhaps a sincere effort on my part to get the morning sun will get me out of bed in the morning.

 Cooder and I shared some jerky this afternoon. I am still experimenting with getting photos with my iPhone. I love the abstract quality to this one.
This was a subway rider. I am trying to take surreptitious shots of folks. There was a fellow next to me with his dreads all piled up like The Cat in the Hat. He got off before I could figure out how to shoot without him knowing. I suppose that takes practice.

Still suffering from mosquito bites and exhaustion. And tomorrow, I need to get busy with life again. I didn't sleep all that well last night.

Monday, May 30, 2011

QUOTIDIEN ANEW

And so home. We left around 1:30 and walked in my house at 6:30 which was pretty much perfect time without insane speeding. We missed most of the traffic.

After unpacking most of my treasures, I retired to the air conditioning and cable tv upstairs. I still have some unpacking to do. And I need to take a bath and call my mom before too much more time passes.

It is always a gratifying and joyous moment to see your friends having a terrific time that you envisioned and helped to come to pass. The trip was non-stop, really, but what would I have expected? And at this particular time of my life, I find insights into my self, and maybe even my past in unexpected places. I suppose we take our insights where we can find them?

Tomorrow, the laptop goes to the computer doctor for a tune-up before the warranty expires. The car is parked in a Tuesday spot and needs to be moved in the morning. And the quotidien begins again.

STILL STANDING

Wallpaper on my favorite room.

Keys to the theater and building.
Still standing. Or actually sitting. We staid up until 1:00, I think, watching concert footage in that amazing room with stunning sound. We planned to get up early enough to do the epic journey to Whitehall, birthplace of the US Navy, dontcha know (on Lake Champlain) … to hit the thrift/stuff stores that Larry had been scoping for weeks.

When I was here back in February, Larry and I drove past a purple house with a giant mermaid attached to the porch which was piled to the rafters with STUFF.  It was open and quite a … an adventure. Larry bought two pair of leather shoes that had been transformed into planters. Melissa found a pile o’ planters for their “verandah” … I always find stuff.

In fact, I am not really sure how I, the person with the least money, ended up with the most stuff, but there you go.

A smoked meat man.
Silly and drunk at Flanagan;s.


Breakfast at Jean's at Paradox Lake. Those look like English muffins, but are, in fact, butter sponges.

Breakfast Bryan.

The fun with breakfast sandwich.

Tim sold tickets again tonight. I tried to watch Thor, but I really could not take more than about 15 minutes. I came downstairs to hang with Liz and get eaten by mosquitos. Hopefully, the small amount of trazadone I took will let me sleep through the itching. 

Larry.

The view from the verdandah at the Red Top.





RACE AGAINST TIME

Tim, Missy, and Larry looking at Schroon Lake while it starts to rain,

In the Stagecoach Antiques  Store today, I spied a fairly terrible terra cotta miniature souvenir jug that said
“Almost heaven. West Virginia.”  But I am in Almost Heaven, Schroon Lake, New York.


Missy at the candy counter before her first shift.

Timothy Lagasse, Adirondack redneck.


Ticket seller.
Who wouldn't want candy?
Bryan says he feels he is a dream that he is going to wake up from. Tim and Larry have bonded like separated-at-birth brothers. And it is all so easy and comfortable. The mix has been tilted toward Boys’ Town from time to time, but fortunately, Missy and Liz have mitigated that.

I got my first twenty mosquito bites of the season last night. And I do not believe I could have survived too much more fun. There was a crazy band at the Timberwolf, and some intense dancing. Missy and I drank many more gins and tonics than normal, but we split them so it seemed we drank more than we did.

Today there were crazy rainstorms that washed out several routes, including 87. Getting back in time to open the theater and get Thor onto the screen at the right time was a challenge. After bushwhacking this way and that, we arrived with a little time to breathe and enjoy our treats.


The street outside the theater.



RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN

Friday, May 27, 2011

Adirondacks afternoon rainstorm. For some reason, I find no reason to complain about this. After a day of sightseeing, (or just driving through the mountains, depending on if your day is half-empty or half-full), some dead animal shopping (excellent taxidermy store, even though any place with dead cat forms, of any species, makes me uncomfortable), old-stuff shopping, and eating local ice cream, pie, and jerky, I am ready for a snooze and a peruse.


This is the buffalo farm where we bought coffee and cookies and buffalo jerky and coffee cake.




This is Schroon Lake, at the Alta Terra (or Terra Alta, I can never remember) dock. Although the lake is so high the dock is mostly underwater.


We got in at 2:00 am on the nose. I am so familiar with the Taconic Scenic Highway and surrounding areas, that I forgot that others might not have spent as much time. Tim, Melissa, and I got lost simply trying to find petrol and food. This vain search put us back an hour, a still-hungry-from-not-finding-any-dinner hour. Tim, having arisen at 6:00 was tired, so I took over the drive. A two-hour lightning storm entertained us up past Rhinebeck, Hudson, Catskill, and Coxsakie. Then an earnest rain made driving a complete challenge. And, at one point in driving in the driving rain in the last lane, I pulled off my glasses accidentally. Fortunately, they neither flew anywhere nor were out of reach, so Tim grabbed the wheel and I got them back on.
Verandah at Alta Terra clubhouse. Built in the 1920s ... I think.


 But we got here safely, calmed down a bit, and then headed to bed.


Thursday, May 26, 2011

THE ROAD, TAKEN, AGAIN

Somehow I thought I would have some time to write before I left for the Adirondacks again. And this is going to be it. I considered not even taking my laptop, but as I missed a few days back there, and I feel I am just getting my groove back, I decided I needed to try to write every day.

So, other than ironing a couple of things and cleaning up more than is really rational, I am actually pretty ready to do. Was just about to go zip up the suitcase, when I realized I hadn't done this.

Have a safe and good holiday. I'll post pictures when I can.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

STEPPING BACK AND STEPPING DOWN

Maybe you had to be there. The party for Betts was filled with smarty-pants funsters. Lots of popping champagne corks and word play of the hilarious kind. We declared the three muses to be Indolence, Truculence, and Malingering. As former proprieter of The Berkeley School for the Indolent, I, of course, will be representing all that is sumptuously lazy.

Yes! There was sun today. Cooder did what cats are supposed to do: worship the sun so there is more. 


I am sure I will feel otherwise about the sun in short order, but I was happy to wake up to it.

I volunteered at the Film Biz Prop Shop today, after calling in to tell them I was running late due to an emergency birthday party. They laughed.

I am so accustomed to being the boss or giving out directions, I was a bit taken aback that I had to follow directions and someone else's ideas! I had to ask what to do next. It was really a shock for me. Even being in the position of wanting to please was a little strange. I stood around after a suggestion or two had been made, while the Marea was on the telephone. I remembered the days of being a PA (lowly production assistant) and wanting to impress. I jumped right in without finishing the conversation and folded packing materials and paper bags. I tried to do an extra good job.

That might not seem like a lot, but it was a damn fresh persepective for me. I am neither directing nor the responsible party. I don't get to be in the decision making process. Wow. My opinion was neither solicited much nor mattered.

This might be really good for me. Might shake off some attitudinal cobwebs I did not even know I had.



Drove to Trader Joe's after to pick up some snacks for the Adirondacks get-away. Took photos. Here is one. Looks like it could be Italy, right?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

SAIGON

"Saigon. Shit. I'm still only in Saigon."

Those are the opening words to Apocalypse Now, one of my favorite movies. When I had my first cgi job back in Los Angeles in the late 80s, MW used to walk in and say that. Waking up to the gulag weather this morning, that was the first thing that came to mind. Still the same old, well, Hell is overstating it but you probably know what I mean.

Much later.
Okay, there was some light. Yes, it was humid but there was some light to be had. Although I did not go out to the park to bask, I did go out several times and avail myself of the benefits to be had from the sun. There are supposed to be thunderstorms this evening, which are always cool, as long as you are not in a place to be struck by lightning.

Tonight was Betts' birthday dinner and lots of fun and alcohol was had by many. Mary G and I, with an important assist from Sharon did the many dishes and put away food. I was soaking wet, in another demonstration of my ability to be inefficient and sloppy. But the job was completed and every one is happy.

However, notwithstanding all the pithiness of the day which occured in my brain, I need to get to sleep so that I can get up and get meself to the volunteer thrift store gig.

Monday, May 23, 2011

ANOTHER DAY IN THE GULAG

Grey again. Or is that gray again? I am tempted to get into the car and drive until I find some sunlight. Drive South as John Hiatt recommends. He recommends it "if you are feelin' down and out..."

Not so down and out as oppressed by the damn weather. This Spring has the emotional feel of the Soviet regime.

Don't you love it when you find lists that don't make any sense. This one, who knows from whence:
cheese—mozzarella, parmesan & goat cheese
more fresh herbs — oregano, rosemary
brussels sprout
cat bed
garlic

Cat bed? Completely stumped on that one. Can't imagine where I would be shopping. Oh well, into the wastebasked


Spent the morning looking for some courses I am interested in taking that might well improve certain job chances. I want to take a beginning Photoshop Course, and one in graphic design. And I thought I'd look into some project management programs, like learning Visio. At the CUNY Schools, it is really difficult to navigate their interfaces, if all you want is a class and a price for it. Really. Who designs these things. Very frustrating. But the professional school for Visio was quite easy to navigate.

I suppose we best get used to frustration. With the world devolving as it seems to be doing, there will be more stupifying stupidity than less.

Time to pray to the sun god for some light tomorrow.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

ARE WE DEAD YET?

Another rapture? Miep yawns.
Are we dead yet? Is this the post-rapture world? If so, I hope there is still time to do some looting after the Rapture Survivors' Brunch. I'd go back to owning a television if I could have a flat screen ... although where would I put it? I watch Netflicks on my iPhone these days.

 Looks like just another rainy cool day to me. If the summer would be mild, it might almost be worth not having any Spring, but I doubt the gods of fairness would weigh in on weather. Besides, I think they are hibernating as I haven't seen hide nor hair of them in ages.

Back in February, I wrote about taking the train up the Hudson River to visit Liz and Larry in the Adirondacks. (Going again on Thursday, this time with Timmy "the Fun" Lagasse and his missus Missy Johnson.) I mentioned the views along the Hudson. Today's NY Times has a slide show of one of the crumbling mansions, so I had to share: A Restoration on the Hudson.

There were four kitties at the Rapture Survivors' Brunch. Most of these are Spork who spent the most time with us at the brunch. I just thought you'd like to see some other kitties.



Another nearly rapturous event occurred when after the brunch, (with Becky Mac's Bloody Marys a delish treat in the midst of complete food largesse: savory bread pudding, homemade roasted breakfast potatoes, homemade coffee cake, mimosas ... I hurt thinking about it), we went over to the Prop Shop Film Recycling Center. I ended up volunteering to help them sort and price things. Me working at a Thrift Store ... fox in the henhouse? Hello.
I am Punkin.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

BACK TO THE (BAD?) OLD DAYS

If I had a job in a fairy tale, there is no question I am most suited to be a sleeping princess. And yes, Sleeping Beauty was my favorite Disney movie. There have been times in my life when sleeping was my major hobby. 16 hours at a shot, over a weekend. I could yearn for sleep like an addiction. Since I moved away from Berkeley in the late 1980s, that level of sleep mastery was mostly in the past. But when I was working, particularly at FlickerLab about four or five years ago, I devoted one of two weekend days to resting.

When I was much younger I had a friend, Charlie H, who was older. He told me that as people aged they needed less sleep. Therefore, he got a lot of reading done. And I do find myself staying up quite late, 'til around 2 often, but I certainly don't pop out of bed at 6:30 or 7. And I watch more Roseanne re-runs (up to 96 episodes out of 228) more than read.

Today I got up at 8:45 or so to wake up enough to go to therapy. I came home, which was no mean feat given the transportation issues this weekend. I ate something, watched a little Roseanne, curled up with Cooder and left Planet Earth, although not in a religious rapture or anything. A repeat of  yesterday's  nap, although I didn't have any plans.

I've been up since about 7:00pm, I think, and I am ready to sleep again. I wonder what is going on with me. It really might be my body readjusting to life without pharmaceutical stimulants for focus. I am in a pretty good mood, and I have a reasonable amount of focus.

But, I hope I am not returning to the days of sleep slavery.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

So, Proust is pretty great. We read parts of the third section of the first book, A Cote de Chez Swann, aloud. We all loved the last lines:

"The places we have known do not belong solely to the world of space in which we situate them for our greater convenience. They were only a thin slice among contiguous impressions which formed our life at that time; the memory of a certain image is but regret for a certain moment; and houses, roads, avenues are as fleeting, alas, as the years."

One has to give it over to the work, though. Long and convoluted, it is. My man, Roger Shattuck says in his book, Proust's Way: A Field Guide to In Search of Lost Time, "Compounding the challenge of sheer magnitude and of an extended plot, there is Proust's style. His transcontinental sentences contribute to the appearance of a motionless plot." Damn straight. But a worthy endeavor nonetheless. And it is great to have some hella-smart fellow travellers to read and revel with.


Damn more rain. More. Rain. Gloaming. Gloomy. Blech.


The rain might be contributing to my current unusual state of mind. After many years taking medication for my ADD/ADHD, I have eased off. I suppose it takes a while to get through your system. The medication I was taking, Strattera, is too expensive ($465 per month) for me to take without health insurance. My good psychopharmacologist wrote prescriptions for Adderall, but I have mostly not been taking them this week. And I mostly can focus and I am mostly in good spirits. What is the word for "content" that does not imply any particular happiness and does imply or indicate moving along? 


I admit to some bad or regrettable behavior. I had a wrap party to attend for the ShweShwe Kids project. I took a nap at 4:30 and woke up at 7:45, a full 45 minutes after the dinner party was to begin. And this is not the first time such a thing had happened. I didn't think I would sleep for 3 plus hours. This is where my focus failed me: I failed to notice the invitation said "dinner party" and "7:00" ... I should have focussed enough to set the alarm for a reasonable time, just in case I went into a (n increasingly rare) sleep coma. Schmuck schmuck rude schmuck girl.


Oops, I Did It Again ...

Friday, May 20, 2011

A PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT

Today was not a bad day but a lost day. And in the interest of making tomorrow a better day, I will be brief again.

Although I managed to drag myself out of bed around 9:30, after 45 minutes of turning off the alarm and cuddling with Cooder, I was not at all awake. After some coffee and some time reading the papers on line, I decided I needed to sleep more. I have no idea how long I was awake nor how long I was asleep, but I woke up at 12:45. That was just enough time to gather my wits, drink another cup of coffee and scurry off to therapy.

I had book group tonight. Yay! We finished the third part of the first volume. Here are Emily and June at Betts' house. My iPhone died, so I didn't get good shots of Betts and Sharon.


I'm okay. I have changed my medication fairly radically, after years on Strattera, to being on no ADHD medication. That might account for my extra sleepiness and wanting to eat eat eat. But I will be fine. Just a period of adjustment. On the other hand, "a period of adjustment" is another phrase for life, no?

Betts, Anna Jing, and I fooled around with the iPhone before it died.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

IL PLEUT DANS LA RUE

For those of you who might feel that FB is a total waste of time, I stumbled across this quote, which I find useful for staving off some confusion and that feeling of being overwhelmed:


Hope doesn't come from calculating whether the good news is winning out over the bad. 
It's simply a choice to take action.
- Anna Lappe

Reasonable, right? Do something. Make A Move. Shuffle in a direction, even if slowly.

I am feeling better. The alcohol is out of my system and I am sleeping more easily. I am not waking up bright and early, but I "come to" relatively quickly. Today I had a bit of difficulty ramping up to looking-for-work-speed, but I did get there. And in the meantime, I worked on the ironing project (now half-finished) while watching Zorba the Greek (yikes! not for the feminists) and Hester Street (feminist approved).

The rain continues. I was caught out in it, although I was in my car and relatively dry. The rain fell so hard it was difficult to see to park.


My apologies for brevity here. I am not quite tuned for thinking and observation, but I am getting there. Meanwhile, Tina Fey's Bossypants is calling to me over in the newly-cleaned-off reading chair. Looks like it has already been occupied. The cats are reveling in the many cleaned off surfaces and largely eschew the cuddling that is their moral obligation and livelihood.

TUESDAY: GOOD NEWS DAY?

Rain again. Noisy shlushing of cars and truck on Eighth Avenue. I took a small amount of sleeping med last night which took a while  to work. This morning I slept until 10ish and I'm groggy. Also, my system is now fairly sensitive to alcohol, so the increased number of beers consumed over the weekend is likely affecting my sleep also.

I am writing and perusing the jobs on Mediabistro before I've even had any coffee. The "flow" of feelings might be headed downstream, but I am determined to get a move on toward positivity and success.

More later.

Today was absolutely better, although I am not yet at 100% energy. I remind myself to be more assiduous about picking up after myself right away so that the layers don't have time to accumulate.

I am still refocussing and stepping back into a swing that includes more outreach and concerted gig searching. I wrote some emails and made a call or two, began to research what is out there on the market, what I might need to get a bit more up to speed on, and just think about the work world.

Even the blog writing feels a bit rusty; startling what a day or two away can do to the rhythm. Perhaps some insight will creep in as well.

Back to bed after putting away the ironing board. I think I am through about a third of the pile. Still rain.

Monday, May 16, 2011

COMATOSE IRONING

The weather will only make a desultory effort today. Given my exhaustion, perhaps that is a good thing. I don't feel as if I am wasting a beautiful day inside while I am too tired to move. And too tired to sleep. An hour nap helped me both be more awake and aware of how tired I am. I keep thinking I should push myself to do something, but I end up spacing out again.

When I reach this particular level of exhaustion, it hits me in two places, my solar plexas and my forehead/third eye. Can exhaustion be localized like that?

And so to bed after making sure the kitchen was clean and doing some of my mountain of ironing. I did push through and get a couple of things done, notwithstanding my semi-comatose state.

More in the groove on the morrow.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOGCAST

May 12th

A whistler on the street woke me long before the alarm was to go off. I don't think it was a drunk as the air, neither what I heard or how it felt outside, was chipper yet controlled. My friend, DMF, has perfect pitch; whistlers make him crazy. It took me awhile to recognize the song. It was Deck the Halls With Boughs of Holly. Well, that was an odd choice for this time of year.

Lately, my dreams have been more like vistitations. I go through my days with the vague sense of having spent time with various people. I think I had a dream about Carl recently. I don't dream about him often; I never have.

May 15th
The blogger site was down for a day or two. And then I was in the rush of getting ready for the guests.
I didn't get everything done I wanted to, but the house does look pretty darn good.

L and L went out for awhile on Saturday evening. I was laying on the floor with the cats when they came in. They asked if I often laid on the floor. I replied that this had been my first opportunity as there was no room before.

The weekend passed in a fun blur. There was neither time nor fully sobriety to write. And now begins another chapter of sorts, more focussed on work than on cleaning my desk. I'll post pictures sometime later. For now I need to catch up on my sleep.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

ANNIVERSAIRE DE TRISTESSE

This is the face I often wake up to. Sometimes, she tries to substitute the other end.





















Grief is just one of life's hench-pitfalls that does not play fair. Anytime, anywhere is open season for a sucker punch or a steep slide into sadness.

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of Carl's death. I keep thinking it is not bothering me and then find myself zoning out in a myriad of ways. There's a hole in my heart, in my life. And it burns sometimes more than others.



Action shot of Tupelo.

Of course, May 12 is the birthday of about ten people I know, some of my closest closest friends.  If you are reading this, happy birthday. I love you. 

Anyway, ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. I think loss of a sibling is so terrible that no one wants to even address it. I still have a parent, a rocking one at that. But, as I have observed, losing a sibling was losing a part of myself. Two years later it has not ceased being disorienting, unbalancing somehow. 

Only a day and a half left. I admit I have not been as productive today, again, as I would have liked, but the bathroom is nearly done, and I can see lots of surface space on my desk. And the evening is not yet over. 

Again, there are many things I might attribute to cause for mood swings, but I am swinging moodily. The down is not so very down, not unmanageably so. And I often have bursts of ... contentment or feeling accomplished. 

Miep thinks the bed is her domain. She will jump up and miao at anyone who approaches it.
I didn't take any pictures today. We (John, Mel, and I) got the car tuned up. I had a sweet sweet afternoon nap.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

KATZENCHATTER

Not so much technology today. I had a glass of red wine and maybe that is helping with the sleepy part. Again, things accomplished, but not as much as I would have liked. Perhaps I am waiting for terror to set in. John came down and hung and re-hung art and pictures. I would photograph them but I am too tired. And Cooder is doing that thing where she picks at things to make me feed her or some such thing.

I killed time by playing with my Hipstamatic options on my iPhone camera. I am tired of organizing and cleaning. Oh! And I had to do some actual work today with Robert et cie for ShweShwe Kids so that took some out of me. I am going to go to bed soon, instead of staying up until 1:00.

This is Tupelo, the cat upstairs. 



His owner, John, says this is is bookjacket photo. He only needs a cigar.

Contemplative.

The wall near my bed. One of the areas that is clean.

Miep with a lens flare.
Perspective perspective perspective. I have scarcely been out of the house in this beautiful weather, although I did walk down and pick up the pizza I ordered for John and I while we did some redecoration.

I did take a snooze today. I am in the midst of changing my medication, which might add to some of my ... mood swings,  if that's what they are. I am in pretty chipper spirits for the most part though.

E, the falling man, is conscious and talking. In a lot of pain, but moving toward getting out of ICU.

Monday, May 9, 2011

TECHNOLOGY UPDATE

I am some sort of technology maven, sitting here with an iMac, a MacBook Air, an iPod Nano, an iPhone, a 750 gig back up hard disk, and two optical disk drives. Watch me work! Watch me waste time is more like it. I must admit it: I am enjoying the damn iPhone. I have been taking lots of pictures with the kitties. 

What I like about this photo is that Miep's expression is kind of like mine in the photo behind her head, taken was I was a wee thing. It is about my favorite picture of me, and it says it all: I am sitting in my underwear on the backporch, one shoe off, one on, with a big cat on my lap and an expression of skepticism.

Miep is hard to photograph because she always wants to interact with you. I was following her down. She went outside on the fire escape this morning, walked upstairs to John, Mel, and Tupelo's apartment, climbed in the window, and took a dump in Tupie's box. Perhaps for the novelty of it?



It's photosynthesis season for the cats again. Like Gerry and the Pacemakers, Cooder will follow the sun.


I almost never get any good shots like this. Love it.

So, only a couple more days left and this one was largely, but not entirely, unproductive. I'm in good spirits, though. That's something! And my mom has been reading my blog and I inspired her to throw away a piece of furniture that was ugly and dust-collecting, something I have been wanting her to get rid of for years. Huzzah. And tomorrow IS another day.

DISPATCHES FROM THE CLEANING SKIRMISHES

4:23
If Martha hadn't called at the entirely reasonable hour of 10:30 so that we could finally have a proper Sunday chat, I'd probably still be cuddled with Cooder and Miep, watching the day go from beautiful bright to greybreezy. Green and grey do look nice together.


After some solitaire, music research, and other fiddling, I finally set down to some real work. Having stumbled across many of my old mixes (and I have 100s), I put on one all, with the word "sweet" in the title. (This one is volume 3.)


I suddenly began to get very emotional. Yes, James Taylor was singing, as if you can't guessed the song. But I am violently ambivalent about James Taylor and, in general, don't get too emotional about old hits. But this one hit me.


Carl died two years ago this coming Thursday. Both my mother and I are wafting in and out of ... well, a sadness that abuts depression. (My father died earlier, six years and a day.) Carl was only 50. He didn't really understand that his passivity, negligent choices, depression, and terrible self-esteem COULD actually kill him. He ignored his doctor's advice to see a therapist or go on anti-depressants.  Instead of doing anything about his sleep apnea, he just didn't really sleep and was cranky to my mom. Instead of dealing with his kidney stones, he just took MASSIVE AMOUNTS of tylenol ... which ended up compromising his ... liver. His body could not take it. He died, not really wanting to.


At any rate, we had a hell of a wake for him. He would have loved it, no doubt. His close friend, bandmate, and musician soul brother, another David S., picked up Carl's favorite guitar and played some of Carl's favorite songs. And we all sat around, drank tequila, and sang and cried and sang and cried and sang and cried. Sweet Baby James.


Goodnight, my moonlight brother,
And rock-a-bye sweet little Carl.
Deep greens and blues are the colors you choose,
And we'll let you go down in your dreams.
And rock-a-bye sweet brother Carl.


We laughed some, too. So odd to have such a good time on such a terrible occasion. But it sold me on the necessity of wakes forever.


Here's a science experiment I pulled out of the refrigerator. I'm working on that project a little at a time.




I'll post a link to the sweet mix tomorrow, although I warn you, it is an odd mix.