|This is the face I often wake up to. Sometimes, she tries to substitute the other end.|
Grief is just one of life's hench-pitfalls that does not play fair. Anytime, anywhere is open season for a sucker punch or a steep slide into sadness.
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of Carl's death. I keep thinking it is not bothering me and then find myself zoning out in a myriad of ways. There's a hole in my heart, in my life. And it burns sometimes more than others.
|Action shot of Tupelo.|
Of course, May 12 is the birthday of about ten people I know, some of my closest closest friends. If you are reading this, happy birthday. I love you.
Anyway, ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. I think loss of a sibling is so terrible that no one wants to even address it. I still have a parent, a rocking one at that. But, as I have observed, losing a sibling was losing a part of myself. Two years later it has not ceased being disorienting, unbalancing somehow.
Only a day and a half left. I admit I have not been as productive today, again, as I would have liked, but the bathroom is nearly done, and I can see lots of surface space on my desk. And the evening is not yet over.
Again, there are many things I might attribute to cause for mood swings, but I am swinging moodily. The down is not so very down, not unmanageably so. And I often have bursts of ... contentment or feeling accomplished.
|Miep thinks the bed is her domain. She will jump up and miao at anyone who approaches it.|
I didn't take any pictures today. We (John, Mel, and I) got the car tuned up. I had a sweet sweet afternoon nap.