And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life.
— Anne Lamott
Sunday, January 2, 2011
TO MAKE AN END IS TO MAKE A BEGINNING
For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning. ~T.S. Eliot,Little Gidding, Quartet No. 4
That nifty quote was nipped from another blog, but it fits my current state of mind.
One of the best things about the New Year's Holiday is the restart button. Anyone who wants to can, openly and without shame or embarrassment, declare their intention to start over, fix things, change, evolve, and even be somehow born anew. The guffawing and cynicism are at a minimum and some support might be proffered. Some people share their resolutions/aspirations and even try to help one another. That all sounds good to me.
Resolution, to resolve, it a tough thing. Getting caught in one's own mire about expectations, self-sabotage, and that well of worms is easy, and can even deter one from thinking change is possible. This year I am making aspirations, things I would like to work on, patterns that trip me up, maybe even a step or two toward making a dream that much more realized.
Setting out the New Year with some things I would like to accomplish or experience has worked for me. Last year, one big one was to be better about being on time. I was often late and flurried because of it, putting myself in a "one down" position because I came in apologizing and/or at a disadvantage. I am not yet in complete control of my procrastination and propensity for tardiness, but I am much improved. That has been a big one.
I haven't made a whole list (and I wouldn't post them here anyway). This year I think I am going to work on anger and my fear of it. I've already begun experimenting and although it hasn't been easy or comfortable, I've already been able to let some go.
I'd be interested in what others of you are doing with the resolution/aspiration possibility.