Thursday, January 20, 2011


Work with Robert and Christine today was excellent. We were all focussed, got a lot done, and it was fun, which is what we always want. A comfortable team always makes a job better. Of course, I came home and fell dead asleep for 90 minutes.

My dream cycle is unusual for me. I am not suffering from so much insomnia, which is great, of course. However, my dreams are quite agitated. Nightmares that are not scary so much as anxious or challenging. I woke myself up from one or two last night. And I want to sleep and sleep and sleep once I get there.

Once I am weaned from alcohol again, it might be interesting to see if I sleep so readily and if the dreams are as troubled ... more hazzerai.

I try to remember that all of this, life, job hunting, food consciousness, breaking a daily alcohol habit, ironing, laundry, organization, all of these things are processes. I do not have to finish them all at once if that is daunting. Better to make progress, and focus on accomplishment.

So, I did work, nap, iron, and clean the kitchen today, as well as pay a lot of attention to Cooder. I will try to sleep on this as "winning."


  1. In my mind it is clearly winning if you make incremental progress. any other way of looking at it is as you say self defeating and makes doable tasks more daunting than they are Good good grasshopper (how's that for alliteration) go easy on yourself. I am curious why a really great work session made you tired rather than energizing you. I too have a lot of anxiety dreams, much more than any anxiety I experience in waking life. Maybe it's because I work it out (or not) in the dream realm.

  2. No, you do have to finish everything all at once.