Monday, October 7, 2013


Ya ya ya heard it all before. 'Twas a stormy day, not a leaf untouched by wind. Emmylou spent quite a bit of time this morning looking out on the deck where things blew around. 

The fall out or spiral down from Saturday's birthday fest alcohol had time to work the bleak and black effects on me. I tried to keep that in mind as I tried to get through the day. You know, this could all look a little bit different tomorrow. I tried walking a few times instead of napping, but the weather was uncooperative, although I did even walk in the rain. 

It might have been talking with Dr. K, Cooder's vet again, that pushed me the rest of the way down to gulping heart anxiety. Not that Cooder is any worse, but the ditziness and disorientation is unlikely to improve. Cooder walks the perimeter of the rooms as if she is not quite certain where she is. And she hangs out under the bed quite a bit, just because it is safer and quieter.

She is still eating and functional and gets up when I come into the room, but gosh it is so hard to see her diminished. 

And that's really all I can say today. I am so sad and anxious and in quite a bit of emotional pain. In an hour or so, I will take some sleeping medication and hope that it gets me through the night. I love it when she snores.

But she was dozing on the end of the bed when I came upstairs.

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