I know it seems like I posted today, but that one didn't really count. That was more of a solicitation or a call to arms. Now for something a little more ... I was going to say "real," but maybe "stream of conscious" is the accurate term.
More time for musing. Am I of a slightly better, more productive mind because the days are getting a little longer? or that I am listening to more music? or that I am alcohol-free for 10 days? or have a little little little more money in the bank? Or maybe I the kind words have worked and you all managed to encourage me?
Maybe things do get better in small increments. I did something I had never done in the nearly twenty years I've lived on the East Coast. I went for a walk in the snow, for exercise. Did I already tell you this? I walked to the Main Library on the other side of Prospect Park (something I did in good weather). I was sort of amazed that in all this time, I had not overcome my "Mediterranean weather roots" to do this. Truthfully, I had been housebound all weekend, Monday was sunny and warm, and the weather reports were dire for the rest of the week. And then, I managed to put back all but one of the library books I cruised because I have library books at home to finish that I have had since June 2010.
That was, like, self-awareness AND self-control.
What will be next?
And I leave you with this interesting thought, particularly when applied on a micro-level:
"No action can be understood apart from the motive which prompted it."
— Arthur Shopenhauer, "The Wisdom of Life"
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Are we to take Shopenhauer as our guide? I wouldn't. Maybe because I tend to judge people by their actions, being somewhat of an existentialist, not by their intentions or motivations. I think you're in such a good process now, sally, that this kind of thought would paralyze it. Ten days w/out vino--very positive, she says after a sip of Vouvray. walking for exercise in the snow--downright heroic! Who cares why you're doing it? It's good!
ReplyDeleteI was one of the comments that was suggesting physical action to go along with the writing discipline. maybe the strongest one in that respect. In any case, I don't need to tell you how easy it would have been for you not to take that walk. You know all the excuses you could have used. That you didn't fall back on old patterns and excuses is big. I hope you got good inner response from it and you can build from here. As Bill Murray said, "baby steps"
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