Up and clothed-ish at 8:36 on a Saturday morning. It was my thought to run over to Trader Joe's but I don't know. I am pretty broke and is it worth it to drive over there for eggs and half and half?
Okay, so TJ run accomplished. Breakfast eaten, moderation moderated, nap slept, bed made ... and now at 2:11? Reality calibrated? The day has turned grey which is never inspirational to me. I would prefer above most else, to go back to dreaming and avoiding of life. However, that does not strike me as any kind of solution, being at best a palliative. (Actually, using a word such as palliative cheers me momentarily.) So, I think I will put on my some clothes again and try the walking cure, although I cannot say that it ever makes me feel better, or if it does not very much. But, it has become something of another discipline, as I have discussed before.
Today, little to nothing seems interesting, inspirational, or meaningful. At least, that's the emotional/spiritual temperature on the inside. Perhaps it is only the slightest ray of light, but I do, at least, have the perspective that it is in my mind and not in reality that this bleakness pervades and struggles to reign (I have been listening to A Clash of Kings on audiobook so I have all this "kingdom-ish" lingo.) Well, better minds than mine have asked this question. And for the moment, I will take the simple advice of changing my environment and breathing in some different air.
It's kind of cute, seeing Park Slopians drift up to the park to watch fireworks. As I walked home from B's, there were streams of folks headed to the civic circle. I had had enough humans for one evening. I think New Years is a more introspective event for me and I need to respect that as such. I would be happier or more content to make resolutions and such.
And now it is midnight and we can say goodbye to a most unpleasant 2011. May it burn in hell. Goodbye to Miep and civil liberties in the United States. Hello to Emmylou and who knows what next. Not more of the same if I can help it.