I am not getting much accomplished. I am even avoiding this writing task. Yeah, today I am suffering the effects of revelry. Brenna was in town and we headed up to hang out with John and Melinda. And while we all had a lot of fun, today was a wash for all of us I think. I really don't like it when I waste days. And I am feeling as if I wasted a lot of this week. I didn't go to Anya's reading nor did I make it to David and Michael's Lehman College art opening at Westbeth.
The consequences of irresponsibility? That's what it feels like. Irresponsible to myself. And maybe irresponsible to my friends who might have liked to see my smiling face at their events. And the main thing is missing out on some life.
I think that's what I've been doing some. I've been sitting things out a bit and not pushing myself to get out there in any number of ways. I'm not being too hard on myself, but it's time to get ready for a bit more discomfort. Time to be stepping out of my comfort zone.
Even tonight, I wasn't going to post what I wrote last night, nor was I going to write tonight. I was going to give myself a pass on account of hangover. No one would really care nor notice. I don't owe anything to anyone.
It must be a good thing that in the long run, I felt I owed it to myself. I said I was going to do this blog and in some ways I haven't been showing up for it. I've been letting things slide, thinking or feeling or acting as if little mattered. Zoning out a bit too much.
I'm going to sit with the irresponsible to myself thought.
Here's Emmylou taking a nap.
Doesn't that cat ever close her eyes? (Your assignment, Sally--give us one of your beautiful hipster photos with a kitten with her eyes closed)
ReplyDeleteRe allergies--I have been saved from them by living in places w/out spring pollen outbreaks, etc., though these allergies are replaced by roach-mold- and-air-conditioner allergies. Give yourself an allergy-and-hangover holiday. If I weren't back teaching, there's no telling what I'd be doing. Hanging out with people and partying is just as valid as sharing words and images with your grateful public. Just don't forget that we're eager to read your words and see your images.