Monday, July 22, 2013

IN WHICH THE HEAT IS LESS BUT THE CONFUSION IS MORE

It IS cooler today. The sky has been overcast and there were signs of actual wetness on the ground this evening. Neither M in Chappaqua nor I heard or saw it rain so draw your own conclusions.

Today was a procrastination day. I did get some work done, but I did, yet again, not make the kind of progress on anything I had hoped to. And I ate too many pretzels in procrastination stress. 
Bertha, the aged window fan.

The (slightly) cooler weather and my recent absence have made the kittens very friendly. Cooder even indulged me in some actual cuddling. 

I might be a little depressed. It could be the heat, but I am, at the very least, out of sorts. And stressed. I know it is kind of silly but I am feeling the pressure of reading that damn book. It is casting a pall over my mental state. Is it unspeakably lame to be stressing about failing to complete a self-appointed task? Who am I disappointing, me or the Kermit Place Readers? Or both. I want to have read it, and I am fairly likely to enjoy a Kermit Place Readers discussion, but boy do I have a challenging (and failing) time reading much of it.


Cooder chillin' again on the SIP.
This is one of those times where I feel as if there are brain cells and energy being siphoned off for some other use, like a computer render farm or something. Simple, superficial tasks can be accomplished, but the big thinking is getting used up.

And then there is the "not running on a smooth current" feeling wherein I am not sure of my energy or focus level from minute to minute. Ah well.

Perhaps this is nothing that another night of good sleep cannot cure. Wait. I can't follow the double negatives there (see! too "processor" intensive) ... I did wake up several times in the night, groggily, yet decidedly miserable about life. But I was able to fall back asleep instead of too much tossing and turning. So, yes, I am grateful for that.


If only I could get her to relax.

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