"It was a day, much like any other day..."
I cannot report any sort of transcendental breakthroughs. But I allowed meself to sleep late and relax. I watched the last 3.5 episodes of Downton Abbey. Just my cup of frivolous tea, with excellent writing and acting.
I did enjoy it eversomuch.
I am pondering the nature of mistakes, misapprehensions, mis-speakings and the like. I just called across the street, here at 12:29 am, to ask that the bar across the street monitor the smokers, ebullient and inebriated, from expressing their pure pleasure at a loud volume. I prefer to call the bar and not the police. I suppose this will be an ongoing problem. But the bartender took umbrage at my request and my comment that I would prefer to call them and not the police.
As the bartender and I were in agreement about the need for quiet and a preference for not calling the police, why should she nearly hang up on me? I did not mean to threaten, really.
What I am really thinking about is the intensity that can arise between people who barely know one another, if indeed they DO know one another. A moment of disagreement and bickering leaves a bad taste and a bad impression in one another. That feels hurtful and unnecessary.
i would that society and manners gave us a mechanism to apologize or forgive or come to another understanding in these circumstances.
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I still believe, strongly, in the value of civil discourse, but find myself often in the minority to the extent that it might hardly have mattered what my language & behavior were, given the nature of the response. And if one's neighbor is already doing the impolite noise thing, they have most likely already gone over to the rude and hurtful side, and will be that way & on the defensive no matter how you approach them. I've discovered that my rude teen's anger blast is at least as likely to quiet the neighbors as my polite, insistent request.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes a quiet moment to make a request to be heard -- and it often takes more than one try to be believed. Next time it happens take a deep breath and call again. And again. You might get a different person or the boss the next time.
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