I'LL GET UP

I have determined that my witching hour is about two hours long, starting at 10:00. About an hour before that, I plan to finish up my work, write this post, and then head to bed. Then, I disappear into something. Suddenly, it is midnight and I am wide awake, deeply involved in chasing some chimera of interest.

My mom used to tell me to go to bed. Now she calls me from California around this time.

I'm rather sliding back into some of less than stellar patterns, like everyday drinking ... or most days having a beer or something. It is not so bad if it is only one because then my sleep is okay. It is mostly that I am not staying conscious, aware, and making better choices. Fighting with food, not terribly, but not feeling really good about it.

Are the dishes put away at this late hour? That would be a no.

Is the sink all cleaned off? Ummm not so much.

I am not devastated by my ... lapses. Not happy about them, but not despairing.

As Jackson Browne suggested, I think I'll

lay my body down
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again