|From Saturday's trip to Chittenden Locks.|
My father had given me a generous allowance. I had already a few acquaintances who belonged to what was considered a good set among the undergraduates, and was elected a member of those societies and fraternities which play, or played, so important a part in Harvard life. I have now forgotten the names of these foolish associations, but my pleasure at election to them I can still recall. It was in the essence a snobbish pleasure; why should I boggle at the word? Indeed the atmosphere of Harvard was at that time — whether it has changed since then, I do not know — richly colored by the sense of social differences. The prestige possessed by members of the most exclusive clubs, the delight of being seen in their company, and the hope of being admitted into their select circles — these were the animating motives of life at Harvard as I knew it; and the democratic principles I had learned from Walt Whitman were of little avail against this atmosphere of social aspiration. That there was an intellectual set at Harvard of much greater interest than the foolish world in which I was, after all, little more than an outsider; that there were young men of intelligence and high promise among my contemporaries, I had not the slightest notion. I was indeed hardly worthy at the time of the notice of intellectuals like Santayana and Berenson, who were at Harvard with me, though I did not know them, and with whom I became acquainted only in after years.
Okay, I started this awhile ago, while I was still in Brewster, but it seemed like a good thing to start tonight's post on.
Had some fairly scary laptop issues this morning, but running disk utilities seemed to resolve the problems in the short run. I know I need to buy a new computer as this one is a good 4+ years old, but I didn't want to have to spend my first paycheck on a computer. I was/am looking forward to paying some debts. Woo-hoo!
I will admit that I have a bit of wine at this point in the evening (8:40). Back to that "chilling out after work" state of mind. I am adjusting to this all. I did make a great dinner dish, kind of randomly. I had some spaghetti noodles to reheat, which I steamed back into life with my newly purchased accessory from Goodwill. I had some mushrooms that had little time left. I sauteed a bit of onion, a bit of chicken sausage, and those mushrooms in amontillado sherry, adding butter and some cheese at the end. Wow. Much better than I would have anticipated.
|Another view of the locks.|
Yes, there are people and situations about which I am worried out there in the world. Yes, I feel a bit cut off from things, having had no real time to even read the New York Times in the morning. That said, I feel some kind of life groove coming on and let's face it, I can use it.