Friday, July 13, 2012

GRUMP STUMP MUGGY

A muggy, hot day that produced a very cranky Ms. SallyAnne. I did have to struggle to do much of anything. Allview was Grump Stump Central. Can a day both drag and be a blur? It seemed like I ate a lot, which is something that I have not done for a few months: crinkle potatoe chips, French Vanilla ice cream, toast with rosewater tea jam, and then Mart and Jay treated me to some damn good Thai food. I did not offset this eating frenzy with my usual stairmaster day. And it did feel as if I were eating out of frustration and mugginess. Must watch that.

Martha asked if I missed Brooklyn. I am mostly conscious of missing Emmylou. In other ways, I am not thinking much beyond what is right in front of me. Given that what is right in front of me is, for the most part, pleasant, I am not thinking much about my life, my loss of myself and my home, the future, or what it all means.

I mean, I'm not complaining as much about being in pain, although my knees are still a bit tricky. I guess I am kind of stunned. None of this is particularly normal; it feels a bit like a vacation or a time out, only I have lots of my crap to deal with. And when I start thinking about that and one thing leads to another, yeah, I do find myself crying.

Meanwhile, due to the excellent grace of my mother, my car will be fixed sometime next week and I will have mobility if not gas to go anywhere. I know that others are struggling as well and there is SOME comfort in thinking that my situation is not ALL my fault. Perhaps a positive attitude is closer than I can see right now.

Photos to follow.


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