Friday, November 9, 2012


Allview Avenue, about 4:00pm, evening of recent nor'easter.

"Here we go, Trojans, here we go!" Any USC fans out there? I am certainly not one, but that football cheer was a part of my childhood and it comes to me this morning as I attempt motivation.

Ask how on earth one got sufficiently
Imbued with otherness. And now I see (James Merrill, "The Book of Ephraim").

Jeff Nunokawa posted this lovely James Merrill quote as the close to his morning's post, although I just end with the otherness. I don't see, not quite yet. But I guess I like the possibility that I might see.

Wet Albert, after snow walk.

For the first time in a few weeks, I had a rough night last night, maybe due to drinking too much cheap red wine ("Say it ain't so, Sally-Jo!"), and some creeping worries. Man, do I go to the darkest place fast. But it might be that, too early to tell, some of my morning attempts at positivity might be paying off. I was at least able to tell myself that while I was miserable and despondent in the moment, that tomorrow might look a little differently. And that, as much as possible, I should just try not to follow the darkling thoughts and instead just focus on breathing. I can't always pull that off, but it worked pretty well last night.

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