Sunday, July 27, 2014

CRICKETS, CARDINALS, AND A GOODBYE TO ALL THIS

Well now. It is my last night out here on Long Island. Emmylou and Cooder are already upstate. Emmylou is completely comfortable, hanging out with Albert, demanding attention, and, in general, in her usual sweet-but-underfoot manner. Cooder, being diminished in her eyesight and smell to some some degree, is holding her own, but mostly hanging out on or under the bed, depending on whether I am there or not.

Both the male and female cardinals frolicked along the fence as JV and I sat in the twilight.  JV says the cardinals are the spirit animals of his parents watching over us.  I did miss Emmylou in the yard with us. JV, MM, and I had a grill out tonight here, the last one for me. Tomorrow, I take my last few belongings and supervise the furniture getting moved upstate and that, as they say, will be that. 

The crickets are going full bore, something I am not usually aware of here. The birds have had their nighttime fun and are quiet.



I am of several minds, scared, nervous, daunted. But I am ready to continue with my downsizing, and nearly eager to shed things. Getting away from some things for many months makes that process easier. And, as I have said a couple of times recently, as … freaked out ? discomfited ? uncomfortable ? tenuous ? nervous ? uncertain ? as I am right now, with plenty of difficult issues to work out, I am not depressed.

I did wake up in the middle of the night last night, unable to sleep, with some junior dementor thoughts starting to drum up some after-midnight misery, however I was able to remember their mode of trouble-making, so I took a small dose of sleeping medication and some reading to ward of a cycle of more fear and a spikespiral of darkness.


Okay, time for that Scarlett O’Hara cheer: Tomorrow is another day. Catch you all from the upstate side.


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