THE HOURS HAVE DONE THEIR JOB

 62 of 100day challenge

It's another race to see if I can stay up long enough to write. Besides indulging a bit of the needlework addiction, I finally got around to watching The Night Of. It had particular resonance as I had a conversation this week with my next-door neighbor who related the story of how her just graduated 18-year old son was an unwitting accessory to what was apparently deemed aggravated assault with the mitigating circumstance of a concealed knife. (The knife was not pulled.) M was in the car waiting for his friends to get back with beer. He was charged co-equal with his jerky, but probably not criminal pals, Bad judgment landed them all in prison, just two weeks out of high school. Not jail. Hard core prison. Where his anger festered and he learned to be a bad ass to survive ... at least on the inside.

I am haunted by her story. I know her other four kids, who are all absolute winners in the smarts and ambition department. One joined the Army after graduation and is at the Language Institute in Monterey where he is doing great. Another became a policeman in LA. The younger two are still in high school. They are sweet, polite, attentive, and just excellent kids. It is impossible for me to believe their eldest could be THAT much different.

My jaw is still sore from getting my temporary crown. I was a little slow today as I processed the meds it takes to numb me. Not to mention the sheer stress of being drilled upon. I did teach yoga and Janet was more behaved. I haven't had any alcohol in 14 days. I still have gin and Rose's Lime Juice in the 'fridge so I could indulge, and it is tempting, but I don't feel like feeling like alcohol makes me feel, so I abstain. I know there are drinks in my future as I am not planning on never drinking again, but I am not in any particular hurry.

I did have a rather delicious nap with Vera Paris and Nina. byybNow, I must to bed as Janet has her macular degeneration injection in the morning and getting her going is a well-documented challenge.

THE REMAINS

I empty myself of the names of others.

I empty my pockets. I empty my shoes and leave them beside

the road. At night I turn back the clocks; I open the family

album and look at myself as a boy.

What good does it do? The hours have done their job.

I say my own name. I say goodbye.

The words follow each other downwind.

I love my wife but send her away.

My parents rise out of their thrones

into the milky rooms of clouds. How can I sing?

Time tells me what I am. I change and I am the same.

I empty myself of my life and my life remains.

— Mark Strand, Darker, Atheneum, 1970