Wednesday, January 11, 2017


A meltdown was bound to happen. It had been a nice respite from anger but something set me off last night. Maybe I just get tired of taking care of her and everything else. One of our Christmas guests, a good friend of Janet's, spent a fair amount of time pointing out to her, in a nice way, how much stress I am under. She doesn't see it. 

Days later.

The world feels so dismal and dim that noticing and reporting on the happier or more interesting details is challenging. What feels the best to me now is when I can slip into a deep, almost viscous, sleep. Unfortunately, that kind of sleep doesn't happen over night, wherein I wake up every couple of hours. I am able to sleep off and off for a couple of hours, and I am grateful to not be heavily into an insomnia mode.

I observed neither Obama's closing speech nor DT's press conference. All of it feels equally ineffectual. I am trying to stay on something of a personal even keel, not an easy task with the energetic chaos that seems to pervade the media-sphere. I am not ignoring the news, but only skimming so as not to let the dementors of emotional and despair overwhelm me. I know those dogs are baying, but I can't get a clear message, other than danger.

So, I'll go back to watching Scotch curled up near my feet and maybe pick up Looking for the Stranger: Albert Camus and the Life of A Literary Classic or the ever-fun Virginia Woolf: The Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse on Her Life and Work.

At least Southern California is getting some rain. I even had to wear my coat once or twice.

1 comment:

  1. I tried to delete being identified as my son to no avail. I am Sharon. As with small children it appears that some elderly cannot appreciate you. You are the air that they breathe and generally no one is constantly being grateful for air. Even with global warming. Today it is going up to 60. Take heart.