RECKON IT READ

Yesterday was full of lost hours or jumps in time. 1 P.M. became 3:45, 10 P.M. became 12:40 A.M. while I was doing what? I had an insomnia scare, but instead of thrashing about, I chose to get up and take some sleeping medication rather than risk falling back into a negative Circadian rhythm.

It's quite overcast here today. The heat level is just below that which might make it uncomfortable. There's only a 20% chance of rain, but another shower or two would be so nice. I can hear Janet coughing in the backyard. Garden gazing is certainly preferable to listening to more endless awfulness about Donald Trump.

Why do I have such a bad feeling about this? My main reason must be that I imagine this is how Hitler got his start.

I'll go work on the monthly bills while we still have money.

Later that same day.

Jeebus. Life is frustrating. Verizon sold all of its business in California to a very crappy provider, Frontier. Of course, this is bound to be fraught with problems, so that wasn't the unexpected part. And even this current exasperating experience of having to call repeatedly after getting disconnected and endless wait times is not exactly surprising. The worst part is having them want me to go to the outside box and screw the cover and fool around with the fiber optic cable. I'm willing to unplug and replug in things in the house, but when I have to start rooting around for tools and bringing down the whole system in the house, I draw the line.

Okay. This isn't what I want to be doing, but on the positive side, I think I got all my mother's doctors appointments for the next month in my calendar and hers AND I switched my car insurance to this address, so that will save us a little bit of money each month.

Janet has been very wifty today. Yesterday, her eyes were red and swollen. Fortunately, her regular doctor's appointment is on Friday so we can see what's going on. She's coughing quite a bit, too. Perhaps it is just allergies as this area is on high alert for that, and our jacaranda tree has dropped blossoms all over the front yard, much to the annoyance of our bad next-door neighbor.

See how positive I am? Making good use of my wait by writing.

Much later.

Janet's aging and vulnerability took center stage today. Everything in life seems so transient and insubstantial. Then again, what is substantial? Substance? The hour is too late and laced with gin to dive into that, plus I would likely not end with the benefit of an answer should I query myself on that too hard. And I suppose I will better understand the substantial when my mother is gone.

At this point, I am on the good side of 1 A.M. so I should hit the hay (the hey!) as best I can, stop this all-too-human, all-too-large line of questioning. Meanwhile, Death Letter plays in the background.

I got a letter this morning

What do you reckon it read?

It said the gal you love is dead

I got a letter this morning

What do you reckon it read?

Said "Hurry, Hurry because the gal you love is dead"

Well I packed up my suitcase

I took off down the road

When I got there she was layin' on the cooling board

I packed up my suitcase

And I took off down the road

When I got there she was layin' on the cooling board

It looked like ten thousand people standing around the burial ground

I didn't know I loved her 'till they began to let her down

Looked like ten thousand people standing on the burial ground

I didn't know that I loved her 'till they began to let her down

You know it's so hard to love

Someone that don't love you

Won't get satisfaction

Don't care what you do

So hard to love

Someone that don't love you

Don't look like satisfaction

Don't care what you do

Well I got up this morning

The break of day

Just hugging the pillows

She used to lay

Got up this morning

The break of day

Just hugging the pillows

Where my baby used to lay