EVEN. THOUGH. I.

1:46 p.m.
I have cheddar crackers baking. I moved the car and somehow miraculously got a Tuesday spot just before the 11:30 Friday street cleaning. I even received automated responses to job possibilities. So ... some hallelujah?!

I am so fighting to stay out of bed. I so want to move into some sweet oblivion.

I woke up feeling fairly okay. I got a telephone call from an old and dear friend who is similarly afflicted with financial and absence of meaning issues. He started the round of how terrible the world is, how he worked in a homeless shelter just last night and how there were two highly educated, professional people, a lawyer and an accountant who had lost their apartments and had to go to a public shelter. And that I should light out for the California territory and the safety of my mother's abode.

And this has so depressed me, I am having a tough time shaking it or moving on to anything else. Like continuing a job hunt, or brainstorming, or even cleaning something that needs to be cleaned (and we all know there is always straightening up to done chez moi).

2:07 p.m.
Just finished the batch of crackers and mostly cleaned up the kitchen. Very difficult to process the disparate elements that are pushing (Not. Driving.) me to that more despairing place. It is warm enough to walk today, being a handsome 47 degrees. Though there is much roiling on the subject of being poor, I think I will stop writing and walk to the library instead of my usual driving.

Even. Though. I. Just. Want. To. Go. To. Bed.

I just want to note this for future reference: when you are talking to those less fortunate than you, whether it is that they have cancer, or are losing a job, or don't have one, or their brother just died, or their car was just stolen, do us (and maybe yourself) a favor: check to see if your remedies, suggestions, and comments are for your benefit or to benefit those with whom you are speaking.







11:19 p.m.
I am holding off on the rest of my "future reference" thoughts. The day kind of got better after I came back from the library. Plus, I took some good photos and that always cheers me up. I need to get to bed so that I can get up and do it all again. Ah-men.