BOTH THE GOAL AND THE WAY TO THE GOAL

"The conditions right now are the conditions we need for work..."

Yes, it is late again. However, I am not quite as sleepy and I did a little more research and thinking today.

"...It is not a matter a waiting until conditions are better, when the situation is calmer or when we have more time, or more information. Now, in the the midst of our daily life, engaged in our professions and households, we can and should undertake the practice of yoga. If not now when?..."


Hmm, heard that before, have you?

"...The word 'yoga' is derived from the root 'yuj' meaning 'to unite.' This word is a cognate of the English word "yoke." It speaks of an integration of all aspects within a human being as well as of the connection with subtler levels of reality. Any spiritual path towards this integration may be called a yoga. Thus, yoga is both the goal and the way to the goal."
— Ravi Ravindra, The Wisdom of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras


I haven't made it very far through the book, but I am keeping on the path, the writing part of it, at least.

There are days when it is great. I'm in the writing groove, or the thinking about writing groove and almost everything feeds that. Other days, I just don't feel it. But these days, I am sitting down for a bit with whatever I have or haven't.

"Violinists practicing scales and dancers repeating the same movements over decades are not simply warming up or mechanically training their muscles. They are learning how to attend unswervingly, moment by moment, to themselves and to their art; learning to come into steady presence, free from the distractions of interest or boredom."
— Jane Hirschfield, Poetry and the Mind of Concentration, from Nine Gates


... attend unswervingly... how difficult that seems.

YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES

Determined to write while still in possession of a slightly clearer mind, she sits down to her task before any alcohol or sleeping medication has been consumed. (And thanks for reminding me, I didn't take my anti-depressants, either.) Be right back.

All sane now.

Having not made any progress in the organization of my oasis/disaster, I thought I would return to the scene of last night's crime.

When my best self is operating this meat suit, I do write in my journal (no "journal" is not a verb no matter what Ronald Reagan says) and take notes from books and magazines. And as the years go by and I stumble across these gems, I am always glad I did. Maribeth Fischer's book, The Language of Goodbye has been marked with book darts for several years, waiting for me to transcribe those passages.

"It's almost frightening ... But you see what you want to. Isn't that always the case? Isn't that what allowed people to have affairs and fight wars and get married to begin with? You close your eyes to the stuff you can't handle and you keep going and you keep believing that somehow it will all work out. You pray or you take alternative vitamins or you collect lucky coins or make wishes on birthday candles and falling stars."


"Within" will? (I still haven't figured out "without" will.) On a side note, in French "within" is dans, without is sans as in going without, which is not what I mean really, but interesting nonetheless. I suppose dehors would be closer. Those of you who are fluent, please illuminate me.

All of that little paragraph seems to describe "within/dans" will, but without much consciousness or determination (which is another way of saying "will", no?) ... That sounds like walking the path with closed eyes, which is only recommended (by me at least) when you ARE frightened and that is the only way you can make yourself move forward. You know, like Don Juan telling us to just jump. Or Nike telling us to just do it.

At the Ojai Retreat (see, I am still tying this together), Eric Schiffman said:

"The only force that can overcome fear is wonder."

And Schiffman, and Ravindra, and Hirschfield have all advised me/us about paying attention to things, which is not generally easily accomplished either with closed eyes or with fearfulness.

Now, where is the path? Where is the yoga? (I have the writing going on!)
Miep looks as if she is paying attention.

WILL YOU WON'T YOU WITHIN YOU WITHOUT YOU?

Thinking on yesterday's post, and Hirschfield quote, I am musing and trying to understand "will."


Here it is again: 
"Attentiveness, and even craft, are not the same as will. Knowing and not knowing are equal parents to a poem [practicing yoga]; to learn from what lies outside the self requires stepping beyond what lies within."


What is the "within you/without you" of will?

Try to realize it's all within yourself
No one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small
And life flows on within you and without you...

— George Harrison on lyrics there.

Ravindra would say that we are not small, that we need to step out of our smallness. But that is for

 another moment of contemplation.

Will: The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action

Okay, so choosing to do something purposefully. That sounds like the within of practice. What lies outside the self here? Stepping into what? Or is that the not knowing?

Diligent purposefulness; determination

Again, the within is clear, the without, not so much.

A desire, purpose, or determination, especially of one in authority

That "authority" would be me, or whichever practitioner ... 

Deliberate intention or wish

The doing of it. Okay, I get all the within of it. But the without of it eludes me entirely. Maybe I'm tired. Would love to know what others might think.

Here's what Cicero said about motive that might relate:

"Of all motives, none is better adapted to secure influence and hold it fast than love; nothing is more foreign to that end than fear."

— De officiis, 2.7, trans. Walter Miller, 1913.

Again, I get the "within" which might include self-love and esteem and that could keep one on the path, but what is the "without"?

Comments?

STEPPING BEYOND WHAT LIES WITHIN

The soundtrack remains the same, Aretha singing I Say A Little Prayer, which is nearly a call to communion for me. I have the sense that Aretha and this song will continue to percolate through this writing.

Still perusing Hirschfield's Nine Gates, this time dipping into the chapter titled Poetry and the Mind of Indirection. Um. Yes, that would be me. I do dearly love to trip around the internet and other places of information just following a wandering path of inquiry.

"Attentiveness, and even craft, are not the same as will. Knowing and not knowing are equal parents to a poem [practicing yoga]; to learn from what lies outside the self requires stepping beyond what lies within."

I'm not yet sure about writing (my poetry is nowhere near this level of subtlety), but I do know that my yoga practice is always better, more emotionally and spiritually rewarding when I am listening to my body, and the energy of my fellow-students, and the instructions of the teacher ... and not stuck in my projection, even nano-seconds in the future, about how it will feel, how much I will be able to do, etc.

In a daily practice or discipline, it is knowing enough to be able to engage in the practice, and not knowing enough to really show up, be fresh, and get what else might be there for you. Stepping beyond your current body of knowledge and expectation.

ATTENTIVENESS ONLY DEEPENS WHAT IT REGARDS

Jane Hirschfield has, for many years, been one of my favorite poets. It started with her wonderful book, The Ink Dark Moon, a book I have never tired of (although I think my friend Hannah has it now) and have given as a gift many times, and always to the delight and pleasure of the recipient.

I consider her book Nine Gates: Entering the Mind of Poetry one of my spiritual texts. I haven't even read the whole danged thing. I just re-read and re-visit what I have read. (Maybe this particular blog/journey will get me all the way through it). The title of this post is from the introduction.

While at the Ojai Crib, Eric Schiffman said, "Whatever I pay attention to changes its quality."

Ravi Ravindra said "If we see the way it is, it changes the way it is." Ravi spent quite a bit of time on the kinds of attention and transcending the mind. Here's another excerpt from his Introduction to The Wisdom of Patanjali's Sutras:

"In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali emphasizes that Purusha knows not with the mind but through the mind, a realization echoed by William Blake when he said, 'I see not with the eyes but through the eyes.' The mind, the instrument of perception, interferes less and less as it becomes freer and freer of subjectivity. The progressive freedom to be attained in yoga is an increasing freedom not for myself but from myself. Then the mind can become a proper instrument of perception and can act in the service of the Real."

Purusha is by Ravi's definition: transcendent person, supreme being.

As to "freedom not for myself but from myself," my old friend Don Smith used to say, "If I could find the zipper on this monkey suit, I'd climb out of it." Certainly a sentiment I have many times echoed.

Back when we were young things in our twenties, my dear friend Martha and I used to describe "having bees" in our heads, when we were so caught up in our confused emotions, desires, and who knows what else to know what (WTF) to do. We got the bees from the Firesign Theater's I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus, ""Living in today's complex world of the future is a little like having bees live in your head. But, there they are." When we were (and still are, from time to time) in that state of noise and turmoil, we were miserable, indecisive, and unlikely to do the right thing.


Happily, I rarely have bees in my head anymore. (I think the dementors* kicked them out.)


But one thing you cannot do with bees in your head is be(e) attentive. I am all for bees, for sure. But your head is not a good place for a hive. 


In the first essay from Nine Gates, Hirschfield, speaking of poetry says, "It begins...in the body and mind of concentration. By concentration, I mean a particular state of awareness: penetrating, unified, and focused, yet also permeable and open."


That sure sounds like yoga to me. And a perfect state from which to write.


More on this to follow.


Click here for a nice interview with Jane Hirschfield.

*Dementors

For other meanings see Dementor (disambiguation).

The Dementors are soulless creatures^[7] considered to be among the foulest beings on Earth. They are soul-sucking fiends who, as their name suggests, dement people who encounter them for too long. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban, until after the return of Lord Voldemort. In the books, Dementors appear to have a generally human shape, approximately 3 metres (10 feet) in height, but covered in dark, hooded cloaks that reveal only gray, decayed hands. The wraith-like creatures have no eyes, and there is a large hole where the mouth should be. According to the author, they grow like fungi in the darkest, dankest places, creating a dense, chilly fog. They appear to possess a few traits of magic, such as unlocking doors (one unlocks and opens the door separating itself from Harry by a gesture of its hand) and notably, their ability to glide (fly, in the film adaptations) unsupported in either world. The Dementors' intelligence is also seldom hinted at, but they are presumed sentient as they have been seen leading revolts and know how to use their abilities.

Being blind, Dementors hunt their prey by sensing emotions. They feed on the positive emotions, happiness and good memories of human beings, forcing them to relive their worst memories. The very presence of a Dementor makes the surrounding atmosphere grow cold and dark, and the effects are cumulative with the number of Dementors present. Despite their attachment to human emotion, Dementors seem to have difficulty distinguishing one human from another, as demonstrated by Barty Crouch Jr's escape from Azkaban, wherein they could detect no emotional difference between the younger Crouch and his mother. They also have difficulty sensing animals because their feelings are more primitive than human emotions; this particular weakness enabled Sirius Black to escape from Azkaban in Animagus form.

Besides feeding on positive emotions, Dementors can perform the Dementor's Kiss, where the Dementor latches its mouth onto a victim's lips and sucks out the person's soul. One such Dementor nearly succeeded in defeating Harry Potter using this method. The victim is left as an empty shell, incapable of thought and with no possibility of recovery. It is believed that existing after a Dementor's Kiss is worse than death.

Because they are immortal, very few methods exist to repel a Dementor; one way to shield oneself from Dementors is to use the Patronus Charm to drive them away. Chocolate is an effective first aid against the effects of mild cases of contact, which may suggest a non-magical, physiological effect on a person's endorphin count. Dementors are invisible to Muggles, but affect them in the same way.

Harry first encounters Dementors during the beginning of his third year of school, when they are sent to guard Hogwarts against Sirius Black, who has recently escaped Azkaban. Harry, whenever he gets near one, is forced to relive his worst memory: hearing the last moments of his parents' lives before they are murdered by Voldemort, which begins with Harry hearing his mother screaming. To overcome the Dementors, Harry asks Remus Lupin for assistance. Lupin teaches Harry the Patronus Charm, albeit with some difficulty.

At the end of Order of the Phoenix, the Dementors of Azkaban stage a mass revolt against their employers to join Voldemort, as he can provide them with more humans to feast upon; in Deathly Hallows, the Ministry, under the control of Voldemort, uses Dementors to punish Muggle-borns due to Voldemort's hatred of Muggles and Muggle-borns. The Dementors also take Voldemort's side during the Battle of Hogwarts, mainly since they knew that he would be much more lenient on their choice of victims. After the appointment of Kingsley Shacklebolt to the position of Minister for Magic, Dementors are removed from Azkaban, and the Ministry contains them by limiting their numbers.

In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, it is explained that dementors breeding create excessive amounts of fog, noticeable to wizards and Muggles alike.

J.K. Rowling created the Dementors after a time in her life in which she, in her own words, "was clinically depressed."