THE DISTANCE IS OVER

100 of #100daychallenge

"In the spell of these words she sank deeply as if. under an anaesthetic, away from empty and makeshift reality; she went down willingly and pleasurably, relinquishing with eagerness the gritty irritations of the Harbour streets, the smell of fish, the dusty shops with their cast-off clothes and furniture. 

— Elizabeth Taylor, A View of the Harbour, 1947

I love it when I can read like that but I have lately (past few months) fallen out of the habit. I trust it is ingrained enough to come back to me soon enough. I did finish Sineád O'Connor's Rememberings which for sure you should pass on. I have always been interested in her story, but you won't get anything straight here. And who knew she had converted to Islam? Maybe she and Richard Thompson could do some duets.

This weird day started off with me having to get up at 6:30 and drink that awful barium concoction for my abdominal scan. That pretty much made me sick although I was able to get in a bit of a second nap. I opened the second bottle to see if I could skinny it down, but started wretching even smelling it. I called the Radiology department and they said to come in anyway. Puking takes so much out of one when one is older. All that physical rejection and revulsion.

The waiting room was dismayingly crowded. This made me a bit nervous so I retreated to listening to a Grateful Dead show from 1971. Most of the folks in there were around my age or older, but I was pretty sure no one else was even considering listening to the Dead. There was a good version of Wharf Rat. I missed them calling me by name until someone thought to call my 'phone as they knew I had checked in. It was all pretty painless and didn't take long.

I stopped by the post office on the way home to mail the seven or eight packages I had wrapped. up yesterday. One of these was a project I had started working on two years ago, so that felt pretty good. Making some space.

After lunch and another short nap, I staggered to my desk to try to do something. Write my yoga class? Well, at least I can type it up now that I have a printer again. I retooled my last lesson plan and a few minutes to spare before I had to leave, so I opened the mail. Turns out the skin mole biopsy turned up something. They had called me but hadn't been able to get through but I received an approval letter to go to the Dermatology Clinic at UC Irvine. Well, that set me back. I suppose it was only a matter of time. I hope my CT scan comes back better.

And then no one showed up for yoga. Two people had signed up and paid which were not the two people who said they were going to sign up. I don't really want to cancel, even if it is just two people. And I am not as disappointed as I might be. Seems to me that the day after Labor Day is not the best day to start a class. People are just getting over their sorrow that summer is over and hell, no more white clothes for months. I will show up again on Thursday and only give up if no one shows again.

So, here I am at 100, but many more than 100 days. So I guess I didn't really meet the challenge .... or did I merely amend it? 

Wait and losing Michael K. and Jean-Paul the same day?? Say it ain't so, Joe!

GAMBIT

I have boarded up the stations of waiting

where mice buy tickets to nowhere

and windows listen for announcements

of broken glass. Let the hands

of dead clocks rest

on the final numbers of chance.

The distance is over.

I have discarded the menu for lunch

and the menu for dinner. Each day

I choose something different to forget

and clear light arrives, bringing

the sea as it should be, the boats

where they are, the boats

where they are. I go forward

while irreplaceable leaves drip

from green cages and spiders

are playing their webs like guitars.

In the one hand I carry your picture

to guide me and with the other

I am combing your name through my hair.

— Richard Shelton, Selected Poems, 1969-1981, University of Pittsburgh Press, Pittsburgh, 1982

Now, don't go away. Thanks for hanging in with me. Comments give me a nice shot of dopamine, so keep them coming.