NOT SO BAD

So tonight I am at Louise's ah-mazing house in Rhinebeck. We worked on MW for the two hours we drove up here and, as usual, got a lot done. But we always get a lot done when we work, which is one of the reasons I adore and respect and enjoy working with her. After some noshing and a reasonable imbibing, we retired our thinking brains to watch some mid-90s British television. Oh hell, we relaxed and it was great.

And now I take a sigh. I'm just in a period of watching and (trying to) listening to myself. I have been in this situation of risk and borderline disaster before. For all those times of danger (unemployment, losing home, what to do? etc.), my personal map or chart is not yet clear. How exactly did I get here? Was it the same every time?

I am saddened to admit that I feel/fear some of it has to do with my self-image and esteem. One finds one asking oneself who one is and what is one's worth. And one still wears the same monkey suit. I just want to prevent myself from finding myself here again if I, indeed, am part of the problem.

Yeah, there are national and international circumstances that make this period all the more poignant and difficult. So, I do not have the blame thrower trained this way. But I am asking.

And I am sleepy. Trader Joe's did not have any lime popsicles today so you can imagine how I thought the day might go.

Fuzzy pictures of Rhinebeck house.

Cosmo likes to drink from the faucet.