OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE BREAKDOWN

When the days are cool and grey, it is even harder for me to do anything beyond binge-watching something or other. And so it is today. Mom and I have already been out to her macular degeneration doctor and back, so it is not as if the day is completely wasted. I just want to pull up the covers and snuggle, no doubt with Butterscotch sucking up to me for warmth.

However, Mom's lunch people are having a Valentine's lunch somewhere so I suppose I will lug her over there. I think she is asleep right now, my having suggested a bit of shut eye between events.

And on and on and on ...

Waiting for Janet to get out of her CAT scan. I am encouraged because in the last couple of days, her cough cleared up significantly. Given that we both had colds back in January, this could be just a lingering bacterial infection or something. I suppose I will be holding my breath for the next few days anyway.

As I posted on FB, that slew of plants I was telling you about are all in actual dirt and homes of their own. That's unusual for me, but I did manage to get them dealt with. Of course, there is a high possibility of me killing them anyway, but for the moment, we can enjoy them. The cheap bulbs I planted are also doing their magic hopefully. I am stupid enough to think I should run over to the Home Depot that is just across the street to buy a few more good quality bulbs. Then again, if I need to spend some garden time tomorrow, I could just plant my sunflowers and work on weeding.

I know. I know. Giving up the gardening. However. I was stressed today and I did find it relaxing to have my hands in the dirt and shift my focus to repotting rather than worry. And as I did, some problem knots cleared up and a way forward was presented. Oh yeah. I still have the trailing lilac, the wisteria, and the two new roses to relocate so there's a fair amount of work right there.

And! And! And! I saw the first artichoke thistle.

Mom is on her way out of the CT scan, so I will check out for now.

So, in the spirit truth, justice, and the American way, I went to bed around 10:00 when I hit that desperately sleepy moment. I slept reasonably well, without benefit of an audiobook or podcast to lull me to sleep. But lo! if I did not sleep a solid 11 hours, save for Butterscotch's need to make bread on my bare shoulder. However, I am not moving very quickly today. Helas!

And then came coffee. Yum Yum Yum. I likely won't be moving much faster but at least it sets me on a path to enjoying parts of the day.

Saturday again, and dang if there isn't a neighbor mowing a lawn. I can also hear someone's bird bell out in the yard, but I don't see a kitty out there. Besides the tangelos still ripening on the tree, I can see a lot more work to do. I have the water running slowly in the area where I will plant the trailing lilac. Eventually, it is supposed to look like this.

It has been in its container for a couple of weeks now, and seems none the worse for it. The lilac likes the location I have chosen, so all systems seem go.

Having trouble (not again!) being motivated to do any of the myriad things I need to. Every where I look is a chore (and whose fault is that? mostly mine).

(I spy Vera out in the yard now, watching butterflies and looking for a sunny spot. And here comes Idris from her hiding place.)

Earlier this week, when I was feeling even worse, I washed all my bedding and hung the linens in the sun. I wash the restless nights, tears, worries, and those scary thoughts out. Getting into clean smelling sheets is always something of a comfort and a positive energy generator.

And hell, I can look out and see my carolina jessamyn flowering like crazy right there. It's happy.

I've been listening to various Joni Mitchell albums since I bought that nice British box set. This one was has been on repeat, although I don't quite understand it. Electricity. (Crappy sound quality.)

ELECTRICITY

The Minus is loveless
He talks to the land
And the leaves fall
And the pond over-ices
She don't know the system Plus
She don't understand
She's got all the wrong fuses and splices
She's not going to fix it up
Too easy

The masking tape tangles
It's sticky and black
And the copper
Proud headed Queen Lizzie *
Conducts little charges
That don't get charged back
Well the technical manual's busy
She's not going to fix it up too easy
And she holds out her flashlight
And she shines it on me
She wants me to tell her
What the trouble might be
Well I'm learning
It's peaceful
With a good dog and some trees
Out of touch with the breakdown
Of this century
They're not going to fix it up
Too easy

We once loved together
And we floodlit that time
Input output electricity
But the lines overloaded
And the sparks started flying
And the loose wires
Were lashing out at me
She's not going to fix that up
Too easy
But she holds out her candle
And she shines it in
And she begs him to show her
How to fix it again
While the song that he sang her
To soothe her to sleep
Runs all through her circuits
Like a heartbeat
She's not going to fix it up
Too easy

— Joni Mitchell, For the Roses