HARDER KNOWING IT IS DUE

http://falseknees.com/about.html
I love this comic. Go check him out.

The sadness has not left me today, but that didn't stop me from running around all day. This kind of day, this kind of anxiety and pain reminds me that I, if not we, have pictures of ourselves in our heads as we go about our day doing things. In my mind's eye for the day, I was rather bent over in anxiety. I am fairly sure I was upright.

I did get up sometime after 5:00 to waft out into the backyard to see the moon. Either I was remarkably blurry eyed, or there was cloud cover here. I did see some pink. Perhaps I missed the red show. And I did try. But that middle of the morning, REM-sleep disturbing interlude kept me a-bed until later than I like.

My mom has been experiencing spaciness, as she calls it, again today. After taking her blood pressure this evening (see, I did get that errand done), she seems to be off. Fortunately, her regularly scheduled geriatric appointment is next Tuesday, so we can get her all checked out. She has been taking her meds fairly well. I suppose tweaking meds is part of the aging process. I feel fortunate to be only on the same two medications I have been on for decades, for sleep and depression.

That Butterscotch is certainly a caution of some kind. She is a cat with resting bitch face, for true. And she has some not-so-resting bitch attitude, also. On the other hand, she wakes me up every night for bread-making and purring, she wants plenty of morning pets, and follows me around all day, so go figure. She is now comfortably snoozing on one of my pillow, just being queen of the world.

All right, this will be short and not too philosophical as it is past my bedtime and I still have towels and Mom's underwear to fold. Is that the same as miles to go before I sleep?

Emmylou like to sleep in the hallway outside my room, which she also did in Brewster.

XCVII

While I was fearing it, it came,
     But came with less of fear,
Because that fearing it so long
   Had made almost it dear.
There is a fitting a dismay
   A  fitting a despair.
'T is harder knowing it is due,
   Than knowing it is here.
The trying on the utmost,
   The morning it is new,
Is terrible than wearing it
   A whole existence through.

Emily Dickinson

I got a line on you, babe.