TRAIN OF THOUGHT OVERRIDE

This is Melissa's cat, Kita. Looks cute right?

Maybe it takes some bad choices to be committed to good ones.
— Alice Kaplan, from Tell Me True: Memoir, History, and Writiting a Life


I am all about the choices I've made in life. I really cannot enumerate the number of times (is that the right cliche? enumerate numbers? oxymoronic?) a day I think about what I've done and not done. When you are spending time in true poverty land, you have some fairly poignant moments to examine such things and ask questions.

Well, maybe if you are more of a tenacious survivor, you don't.

In the meantime, it is late. I didn't give in to a bath and a finishing of novel (I did that on the train). I did work. I went to therapy and thence to Louise's for a salon meeting. That was better for my spirits than I would have anticipated, but such is the nature of depression: nothing can get better, I can never feel better, or so you think. Luckily, I have override on that train of thought and ignored it.

I think this is Punkin. She is receiving her orders from outer space.

So, not philosophical, not artistic, but another step in this current commitment. Hopefully, and I use that term loosely, I will wake up to a sunnier day in a better mood and see if I can do some swimming upstream to an eddy of cash, or life meaning, or I will even see a way out of the morass.