AWAITING THE

 5 of 100

January 8th

Counting down to surgery now. I thank those of you who have reached out to support me, both in the Janet struggles and having surgery. I gave my knee some pets this morning after I pet the cats. Janet has gone back to bed. I am giving myself a bit of time to gather my thoughts, strength, and focus as I plunge into more housekeeping.

Yesterday was a pretty fine day. Our #3113 yoga class met, and, pleasantly, at a slightly later time. My knee hurt badly enough to remind me of the primary reason for doing this: yoga practice. I had not practiced in quite a long time and really felt awkward and stiff. I am a little sore today. I hope the reminder that it is ESSENTIAL to keep practicing stays with me. (Y’all can remind me if you want.) 

I was able to make good progress on the housecleaning project. There is more to do (and I will get to it shortly). This is usually the time I choke on completing the task. Inability or unwillingness to complete things is something I need to analyze more closely. That is one long list.

On my way to dinner in Laurel Canyon, I had a terrific conversation with my old pal Mona. Mona’s dear, departed husband was one of my closest friends in junior high and high school. When I made the break from LA, I moved in with them in Berkeley where many cards where played, much dope was smoked, and much laughter ensued. M and I reconnected strongly about a year ago when I sent her a birthday text only to find she was headed for some surgery herself. We have kept up semi-regular contact since. M was most understanding about the difficulties for caring for a dying parent nearly single-handedly. (I get some critical help from nearby friends and cousins.) The intimate chat made the drive through LA traffic and Hollywood go back rapidly. Grateful for that chat.

And then, a lovely raclette dinner with R and L. A lot of Curtis Mayfield played. We never run out of things to talk about, comparing notes on elder care (R’s mother is in her 90s), politics, series to binge, books, and then some card playing. I was annihilated. L gave me some lovely books in French to set off the year. She wisely chose some kid’s graphic novels to kick start me. I wonder if heavy pain meds will rendre la lecture du français moins difficile.

Janet was in bed when I got home. She had neglected to take her meds although I had given them to her hours earlier. I made her get out of bed to take them. The pre-op shower protocol meant that I had to take a shower and wait two hours to wipe down with disinfectant wipes. M had mentioned microwaving the wipes so they aren't so cold and that did help. I took a nap for two hours and after the disinfection, I had a hard time sleeping, hence a late start today.

Although Nina has returned to bed for some more cuddling, I need more coffee and breakfast, too.

Almost January 10th

Thank you all for all of your support, which has me feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I am headed to bed shortly. I had a kind of freeze, if not meltdown yesterday. I spent several hours, that could have been used more fruitfully in housekeeping
, doing Duolingo French.

The new air mattress and frame seem quite nice. Michael seems comfortable. The cats are enjoying the bed as well. There is nary a cat with me at the moment. They are occupied with chasing one another in and out of Michael's room.

DUSTING

Beautiful, visitors used to say

absentmindedly, glimpsing the figurine

(courtesan, bronze) ensconced in the fine

bay window. And it was, in a way

that irises swaying outside

would never be, multitudes driven

unresisting from season to season,

year after year. When the old man died,

his favorite weathered the neglect

indifferently. The pose she held

had take a lifetime to perfect,

would take a life, at last, to comprehend.

Dust fell, and her hand was filled,

awaiting the touch of a human hand.

— Daniel Hall, Hermit with Landscape, Yale University Press, New Haven, 1990