PEACOCK MEMORIALS. VALHALLA!

Wheee!! Train time again. Heading back up to Beester after some serious writing work with Louise and an evening listening to lawyers talk about the legal challenges of online merchants and businesses. I loved that a young-ish (okay he was around 45) lawyer sat down next to me and struck up a conversation. In short order he had dropped his artichoke heart into his white wine with a big plop and we both cracked up. I also noticed he had a hippie-esque braided thread bracelet over his nice watch.

Listening to some of the new music I downloaded from Bandcamp, this one the Jam Jars. It is so inexpensive and it has renewed my interest in music. I was kind of stuck on the old stuff … having not bought much new in a very long time. I wouldn’t recommend the Jam Jars to most of you, but I like it.

I spent the night on the Upper West Side and although I spelt … slept well … I did wake up repeatedly. When I woke up the dementors were gently reaching for my heart, creeping in the way the fog of San Francisco Bay creeps up the side of Mount Tamalpais. This was more toxic, slightly smoking and squeezing. I got up then and after an hour or so, the dementors had left and I was in a more or less normal, less desperately panicked mode.

Going to the New York Tech Council meeting was informative beyond learning things I didn’t know (or hadn’t really thought) about selling services online. I was pretty beat from 5 hours of solid non-stop work with Louise with our minds deep in Monsterwood. I don’t do well AT ALL at networking kinds of events. I am always challenged to stay sober and present myself in a dynamic way. And I can do that. But I cannot do that at will.

I’ll admit freely that not only am I challenged how to explain myself, what, even, to say about myself in most situations, but all that is involved in presenting myself altogether. The good thing is, I imagine, that I did not overly judge myself for not having it all together on my first outing into this world.

The crowd was pretty much a sea of black with a fair representation of grey. In my orange and red silk madras blouse, khaki pants, and flip flops (but they are good ones, not rubber or anything), I stood out as being of a different feather. (Along the lines of this female cardinal, I’d say.)

When the friendly lawyer sat down next to me, he cheerily asked what brought me to this event. I was stumped for an answer. I immediately went into a panic about talking about myself. 

I know. It shouldn’t have been cause for even a slight rugfufphle but this is how insecure and unprepared I was. I smiled and said “Technology.” (My fall back would have been a line straight out of my mom’s playbook: “The subway.”) I did mentionmumble something about doing social media for NYTech.org. Fortunately, my seat companion was friendly and willing to, immediately, go into his story. Before we could get back to me, the presentation ended and I never had to elaborate any further. I feel like a little kid in those situations. Also, kind of silly or despicably artsy.

However, now, at last, I know how better to prepare for the next one. I know this should be like nothing for a seasoned executive … I mean, I have had some real jobs and one would think some self-assurance, confidence, and powers of articulation would not be a stretch or a trial. Now I have a couple of specific questions, I can practice in front of a mirror if I have to.

(My earlier-in-the-summer love, Led Zeppelin just came on, Babe, I’m Gonna Leave You … tempted to turn it off as it is pretty stupid and macho … but Jimmy and Robert are so beautiful together. Arrggghhh. I guess I can stand it until it goes electric and the screaming starts.)

(Does Peacock Memorials, Valhalla, sound funny or picturesque to any of you?)

 Anyway, I headed home shortly after the talk. I was going to jump on the subway again, but having been mostly sitting all day, I decided to walk a few blocks. I called me Mam and walked from 27^th Street all the way up to 59^th , right up Seventh Avenue through the spiritual hellhole known as Times Square. I thought about talking snaps for you, but you’ve seen it. And I wasn’t of a mind to be Weegee at that moment.

I suppose this is enough of a prattle. I’ll jump back into the Sean Wilsey book, More Curious. You’ll be hearing more about that.

This is the foyer ceiling of the Ed Sullivan Theater there.

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