I FEEL KIND OF LILAC

Rhinebeck, New York

Guest house, Rhinebeck.

I was up really late last night bingeing on the current season of Nurse Jackie. I slept a bit late and the whole day has been kind of off-kilter. Louise worked on the house. I wrote some, talked about Monsterwood, did my curatorial job, but I have been sad and out of sorts. Some of it is financial worries. Some of it is just general world worried. And there is clearly plenty to worry about.

Late in the afternoon, I left Louise to have some space from our intense discussion of life and some of those insoluble issues. I went to the store to buy the ingredients for a simple vegetable soup and then took some time for a slow drive to listen to Storm of Swords and to enjoy the spring landscape up here. The lilacs are fantastic, particularly given that there are many older, mature plants that are spectacular. The air is soft and sweet with the scent at night. It is much different, slightly more astringent, than the smells of jasmine and heat you get on a good night in Los Angeles. 

I drove through Bard College, and then around some river roads that had plenty of old houses. I also found a cool place where I took a short walk, the Poet's Walk. It was also pretty great, quiet, golden with late light. I didn't walk too long as I needed to get back to make dinner, but I enjoyed it.

I feel kind of lilac: fragile, astringent, complicated. Incomparable.

Yes, must sleep.