NOT GETTING

November 27 

I woke up at around 4. After dozing and listening to my current audio book, I decided to get up. I put on Kind of Blue, which, sadly, is not on my iPhone (currently there is no room for nuthin'). I have to get me to the grocery store when it opens, so I just went for it The book is Three Shades of Blue. The cats are unused to me getting up so early, as am I. They, of course, want me to let them out ASAP. It is even more important than food or drinking water from a slow stream of the bathroom tap.

December 3

The grey is back and it is damp and cold, for here. Lawdy, I could not sleep last night. I turned the lights off at 11:15 but likely didn't fall asleep until after two. I'm tired from the inside out. 

After toast, coffee and French lesson.

It is not getting any easier to get up. The existential dread deepens as the realization that my life could get much much worse starting next year. Sonia and I were talking yesterday about how awful 2024 was, from start to finish. At least the year started out well in the arms of someone who loved me. 

Yet, I did manage to get my mom's health improved. That took a lot of work and stress. Now, I watch her deteriorate even further on the daily. 

Keeping my/our head above water is so challenging. After I had to spent $10k on the electrical which was a stretch, we are now confronted with having our homeowner's insurance cancelled because we need a new roof. Where is that $20k going to materialize? And, again, this kind of (non) money management was never my strong suit.

I had my first yard sale. The more I realize how much stuff I have and have to get rid of, the more depressed I get. The yard sale was thrown together rapidly, so I suppose I should not be overly dismayed by the dismal outcome. Hardly anything moved, so the goal of downsizing was not at all achieved. I made the most money on Carl's records, which I pulled out of my car where they were headed to be donated. I sold the for very little. I still haven't managed to get everything rewrapped and back into the garage. 

I better get to that before the City Hasslers come by again and write me up.