ONE WHATEVER AT AT TIME

 

85 of #100daychallenge

Finally out of Salt Lake City. Spending the night in St. George, Utah. This is kind of a cool town. It's very pretty here. 

I would probably write more but I am pissed off at Janet and I left my power conditioner in Murray, Utah. I wonder if my brother will recognize it and bring it home. So, I have limited battery left. I tried to do this on my iPad, but couldn't get the right web address. 

Back in LA.

Sometimes coffee can regenerate the will to live, which is where I am this morning. It is our second morning back. Janet and I had to get up early, for us, to go to the eye doctor. I didn't sleep well so I woke up before my 6:45 alarm. The damp and the heat are already present. I don't usually let the cats out this early so three of them are hovering around me here at the desk.

A week later, on Sunday night ...

Whoa, writing pony! Let me see if I can ride for a sentence or two.

I just don't know what (or if) I think. I spent the first week back from Utah in a semi-daze. It seemed like the right time to re-watch Big Love and do a lot of needlepoint. Big Love had another level of depth, now that I knew more about the Salt Lake City and St. George area. I still find it a fascinating show, even though some of the narrative seems insane (Adalene trying to kill Albie, Albie trying to kill everyone, etc.) but given some of what I have read about fundamentalist Mormons, not ENTIRELY far fetched. The writing of the interpersonal relationships was stellar as was most of the acting. I think I was even dreaming Big Love. But that's all over now.

The influx of boxes of Carole's (my half-sister) and Anita's (my half-niece) stuff has me overwhelmed. 22 boxes of Vernon Kilns dishware, Star Wars/Star Trek Memorabilia, and miscellaneous other stuff to be disposed of or sold. I did manage to put up an item or two on FB, Etsy, and eBay, but as there are other similar items, I do not expect them to sell rapidly.

Throwing away what was left of Anita's life was ... well, maybe traumatic ... certainly set me back on my heels or my head or some part of my body. David repeatedly said "There is a lesson here, but what is it?" I am reading for Swedish death cleaning (but not Kondo!) ... once I am on my mental feet again. I just confronted my younger brother's annual again ... I think I need to move it along through trash or donation. 

Today, I interspersed the last season of Big Love with trying to re-integrate into the flow my life had before Anita died. (Yesterday, I went to cousin Christina's to work on our dresses. She is almost finished with hers.) My garden is nearly dead as I could barely be bothered to water last week, notwithstanding the heat. I did do some deep watering on the fruit trees (still need to hit the pomegranate) and the roses. I did some of Mom's ironing. (She finds it easier to get into shirts that button in the front rather than pulled over her head because of her arthritic shoulders.) I did a loose clean of the refrigerator (I have a vegetable drawer again.) I made some Anita-estate telephone calls. I missed her.

So, I know this is disjointed but that accurately reflects how I am. I am trying to re-establish some rhythms as I disrupt the patterns of having too much and not wanting others to have to deal with it all. I constantly remind myself that it is one action, one shirt, one book, one scarf, one whatever at a time.