WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH

 (4 of #100)

9:08 p.m.

It was overcast again today, so Fox spent the greater part of the day like this. As always, a paragon and picture of grace.

I started the day late, sleeping in as I could today. Janet did not have to get to The Domineers (her crony group of domino players) and I had no appointments. I had an intention to make coffee and then spend a concentrated hour of reading but somehow that never materialized. I did spend some time reading Deborah Madison's Local Flavors. I love her approach and clear recipes. As usual, I marked some recipes that I will likely never get around to making.

Janet hit the hay about an hour ago. This concerns me as she didn't do anything all day, mostly resting. She has a hard time getting absorbed by anything on tv. It all dismays and disgusts her. I forced her to watch some of the first episode of The Handmaid's Tale as I am considering watching the whole thing from the beginning. I think there is a new season starting soon and I find I forget quite a bit between seasons.

There are five essential Domineers. E&D are a younger married couple who met the oldsters at the Senior Center. I don't have their whole story but for some reason E can't work. They are practicing Roman Catholics and often bring their lunch in a Ronald Reagan Library bag. Shocking, I know, that I have come to like these people although I would probably be infuriated should I know the depths of their conservatism. But they are very nice to my mom. They sort of act as sheep dogs for the older Domineers who can be like a bunch of cats in a bag. 

JR lost his wife around 2008 and met JC at another Senior Center lunch. JC had also lost his wife recently, so they became buddies. JR might be the most irascible human I currently know. JC loves to make puns, give out his business card, and pretend he is Superman. He tells the same bad jokes every time I see him. Is that an old coot thing, the need for repetitive,[did you ever notice that "repetitive" has a kind of repetitive spelling?] predictable answers to questions? I have another dear friend who invariably cites "It will be in the last place you look" at any time you cannot immediately put your hands on something. Old coots of my dear acquaintance, look deep into your hearts.

JR is smitten with Janet. A couple of years ago she drawled, "It's a good thing I am not a gold digger. I could get JR to marry me in a minute." And their flirtatious dance continues. He asked he to go to Vegas with him and E&D. I am all for octagenarian/nonagerian romance (I have hopes, not optimism, to take part in that myself). But JR is not in good health himself and Janet needs more care and support than her participation in dominoes might show. I am pretty sure JR is drawn to her still bodacious body (if you really really like tits) as well as her lifelong ingrained need to flirt. (More on that another time.) 

E&D, and JC have been after me to teach yoga to them so we had our first "meeting" yesterday. JR is vehemently against this. Now that Maison d'ete is presentable and there is actually room for some chairs, we set a date for next Tuesday. And, I finally get my cortisone shot for my bad knee so that exercise will be possible again. The heat is on for me to design my first class.

Blossom from my new Black Tulip Magnolia. Blooming season is pretty much over, but it is growing like crazy.

THE PIECES THAT FALL TO EARTH

One could

almost wish

they wouldn’t;

they are so

far apart, 

so random.

One cannot

wait, cannot

abandon waiting.

The three or

four occasions

of their landing

never fade.

Should there

be more, there

will never be

enough to make

a pattern

that can equal

the commanding

way they matter.

DON’T LOOK BACK

This is not

a problem

for the neckless.

Fish cannot

recklessly

swivel their heads

to check

on their fry;

no one expects

this. They are

torpedoes of

disinterest,

compact capsules

that rely

on the odds

for survival,

unfollowed by

the exact and modest

number of goslings

the S-necked

goose is—

who if she

looks back

acknowledges losses

and if she does not

also loses.

— Kay Ryan, The Best of It: New and Selected Poems, Grove Press, New York 2010

If you don't hear from me for a few days, make someone come and check. I think the cats are planning an assassination attempt soon. They are swarming me, knocking things over, and Nina is currently hung around my neck. I am going to have to make more desk space for them to oversee me and get some supervisory input.

Lots of Allman Brothers and Etta James coming up on the shuffle tonight.