ONE MORE CHIMP

Beaming with apparent normalness.

The one-two (and maybe more) punch of loss comes up at various and unbidden times. The instant of apprehension, of recalling and reliving that loss in a vital moment is a heart-dropping shock, all over again. When I, on occasion, peruse older posts and see pictures of Cooder, I melt while mentally screaming that I want her back, that this can't be so. Emmylou, Scotch, and Vera Paris are all fine kitties, but nary a one of them is so attached to and focussed on me.

Vital: (1) absolutely essential or important; needed by your body to keep living (2) full of energy, lively.

Needed by your body to keep living.

And I am emotionally revisiting, if not reliving, Stuart's last couple of weeks on Earth. The moment when I received Lili's email that Stuart was going into hospice care. The howling, inside and out, anticipating his loss and thinking about his pain. Counting down until the day arrived and he was completely gone.

Le prochain jour

Why should a new table make a difference? After much agonizing at Costco, Janet and I decided on a four-foot folding table to have on hand on the patio should we decide on another bbq or such. She rather wants to have a church party. I suppose I should encourage her. Except that I will have to be here. I don't mind helping organize, just the socializing. However ...

I finally moved the table out of the car and onto the patio. Now that the pool/ping-pong table is gone, I can reach the (regrettable) overhead light (florescent) and actually see. The table raises fairly high and is just right for me to stand and work. So, I listened to the damn Elvis Costello memoir (almost done now) while I drank vodka and curacao (not very good) and tended to my much neglected hanging baskets. It is great to have some workspace outside, particularly when it is so clement.

My late-in-day productivity did not lead to a wise-person's early bedtime. Oh no. Instead I was up well-past 2 A.M. listening to cover versions on the A.V. Club website, some of which are interesting. And then reading Small Town Talk: Bob Dylan, The Band, Van Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Friends in the Wild Years of Woodstock. (I won't be typing that title again, so remember Small Town Talk.) Oh, and sipping gin and cranberry juice. Much better.

My first artichoke!!

And now, back into the spider mite fighting phase!! I end up getting pretty wet with this jet spray that knocks off the bugs. But tomatoes are my cause! I have enough now to make a small batch of fresh tomato soup!

Is it a bad thing when you have a Steely Dan song featuring Michael McDonald song in your head? Bad Sneakers? I didn't even know the name of it.

Five names that I can hardly stand to hear

Including yours and mine

And one more chimp who isn't here

I can see the ladies talking

How the times are getting hard

And that fearsome excavation

On Magnolia Boulevard

Yes I'm going insane

And I'm laughing at the frozen rain

Well I'm so alone

Honey when they gonna send me home

Bad sneakers and a Pina Colada my friend

Stompin' on the avenue

By Radio City with a

Transistor and a large sum of money to spend

You fellah, you tearin' up the street

You wear that white tuxedo

How you gonna beat the heat

Do you take me for a fool

Do you think that I don't see

That ditch out in the valley

That they're digging just for me

Yes I've gone insane

You know I'm laughing at the frozen rain

I feel like I'm so alone

Honey when they gonna send me home

Bad sneakers and a Pina Colada my friend

Stompin' on the avenue

By Radio City with a

Transistor and a large sum of money to spend

You know I'm going insane

Yes I'm laughing at the frozen rain

And I'm so alone

Honey when they gonna send me home

Bad sneakers and a Pina Colada my friend

Stompin' on the avenue

By Radio City with a

Transistor and a large sum of money to spend