Did you ever think about how ominious is the song Hurdy-Gurdy Man? As it came out when I was still quite young, and I was yet to be obsessive about deconstructing my favorite songs, I did not give it much thought. Well, it is on my mind this morning. Better than a commercial theme song I suppose.
Later.
It finally dawned on me why this week, and Pam in the hospital, is so extra difficult for me. Four years ago, this week, my mother's sweet boyfriend ... hard to call an 86-year old "boy" ... but her sweetie, went into the hospital. Vern was a terrific person and we were so happy that my mother had found someone who "got" her and cherished her so deeply. Vern did after about two months in the hospital.
The following year, the same week, within a day or two of Vern going into the hospital, Carl was hospitalized. He, too, died a within a month of Vern's passing, and within a day or two of my own father's death several years before.
So, this is a tough week for me, the memories of it being cold, the stress of being at the Kidscreen Conference, blah blah blah blah. And this might account for my afternoon dives for a deep nap.
All in all, things are improving for me. I just feel better, notwithstanding that I haven't done any yoga in three weeks. This week, however, I felt as if part of me were living somewhere else.
And all I actually have to offer as a writer, is my version of life. — Anne Lamott
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